For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic
by Toki Ddoki
Summary: Some people just want to see the world burn. RenjixOC, sequel to 'decode'.
1. One: Shiori

_So this is the sequel to my fic 'decode'. It doesn't really matter if you haven't read it I suppose, my character is 'recapped' and the things which happened to her will be... refreshed I suppose. _

_It DOES contain spoilers for chapter 423. As of right now, I do not have the faintest idea of where I am going with this; and since bleach is on a two week break... well, I have no story line to follow. As such, updates might be few and far in between until I have solid ideas, but I really wanted to write this up._

_Enjoy. _

Chapter One

In which Shiori is not quite the same.

_Some say the world will end in Fire,_

_Some say in Ice,_

_From what I've tasted of desire;_

_I hold with those who favour fire._

"So the central 46 is in agreement upon the decision of Mogami Shiori's fate."

Murmurs echoed in the halls; it was a strange occurrence. Passing judgement on a human soul because she wasn't quite average.

It had taken the central 46, 3600 minutes or 60 hours, or, in easier terms, two and a half days exactly- and I mean exactly, as their decision had been made precisely to the minute, to the second in fact- to come up with their decision on the debate on Mogami Shiori- or, known to most people, Shiori Cooper.

The simple human girl was not that; simple, nor human, and so there had been plenty of confusion. She had died before her time, and she had not died how she should have, and to add more confusion and debate on top, her soul was not a human soul any more.

But neither was it Shinigami or Hollow. It had been altered after her death, leaving things quite the pickle. She had died, while she was dead. Now, one would assume, just like other spirits who died, she'd become one with her surroundings, become part of the fibre that allows the others to live, to become the very energy they need to fight, protect and grow.

After her second death, at the hands of Aizen Sosuke nonetheless, her spirit had transported it's self to soul society, where it did not quite fit in.

As a human, Shiori could never of harmed a fly; if she had died normally and been sent to the other side normally, she would have joined soul society and may have perhaps, even went onto become a Shinigami. Before she died, before she was altered, Shiori was an exceptionally innocent and kind hearted girl.

Hollows who's only sins are committed after they have been transformed into beastly monsters, are purified and also sent to soul society, for their 'crimes' are acted purely upon instinct, rather than with a malicious intent.

A person who was evil before their death was sent to hell.

Spirits who, after they have died, act upon their own malicious, evil intentions- what become of those? Usually trials are run, and often they are sentenced to imprisonment, depending on their actions and what drove their evil intentions. The state of ones mental health tends to affect the outcome of these things in the human world. Soul society was not quite the same.

Aizen Sosuke was sentenced to imprisonment for no less than 18, 800 years. Considering what he'd done the amount was not surprising- supposedly, some people had argued for more, but that had been considered the amount he 'owed.'

Mogami Shiori had been hard to place judgement on. Alive, she was quite pure and innocent, in her death she had knowingly 'aided' Aizen Sosuke's ambitions with evil, and malicious intent. However, she had not hurt a single person, with said intentions, and the whole time, she had been plotting against him. To bring him down from the inside, as they say.

She had given her life to protect the shinigami, and the humans from the evil which had not only killed her, but had corrupted her wholly.

So the question was, what to do with her? They could, reform her spirit, imprison her if they wished. But the fact was, no matter how people looked at it, she had not sinned. She had no reason for atonement or imprisonment. In fact there was nothing about her they could find that would suggest she deserved such a cruel, unjust fate.

Fear drives people into doing crazy things, and so the doubt was there; if they restored her, and let her live in the rukongai... would she one day attempt to free Aizen Sosuke? Would she one day, perhaps, become their enemy and try to pull the foundations from the core of soul society?

And so, after two and a half days debating, arguing and suggesting, they had finally come up with their verdict. It seemed almost sad they were passing judgement, and the poor girl herself was not there to defend herself. Well, not in any way that could actually talk.

Urahara Kisuke had managed to gather up all last trace of her essence and entrusted her to Retsu Unohana. In turn, the female captain had brought her- along with Captain Kuchiki, to the central 46. They alone held the power to... reform her, or at least purify her so she could find her place at last.

It seemed sad, that the only person who was able to pass defence for her was Kuchiki Byakuya. He didn't know her first hand, and barely knew of her existence before his adoptive sister's mentions of her, and his vice-captain asking him what would happen to her spirit after death.

Urahara Kisuke, Retsu Unohana, Kuchiki Byakuya and Yamamoto Genryuusai were the only ones who knew of the other trial going on now. It seemed silly, really, to keep such a simple thing top secret but...

There were shinigami within soul society who were fond of her. If her fate ended badly, perhaps it was kinder for them to think she had simply died back then, that she was part of Hueco Mundo or soul society. And when the time came for her release, none of them would probably remember her, or any bonds or feelings they had.

However, the central 46 were not cruel people. They were not unjust, and they had realised becoming a prisoner was not an option for her.

So what was?

They had four options.

One. Purify her spirit, and let her become part of soul society.

No one had seemed fond of that idea. They all agreed upon the fact she deserved to live, if she had not made such a noble sacrifice, she would still be alive within Hueco Mundo, and would have been allowed to stay there.

Two. Reform her spirit, and send her to live within the rukongai.

Again, no one seemed fond of that idea either. As stated earlier, fear motivates into doing silly, idiotic things that no one can really explain.

Three. Reform her spirit and sentence her for imprisonment.

No one really thought it was even an option. It had already been made clear no one wanted her imprisoned, and the ones who did were saying that because they knew of the hassle it would be to decide upon her fate.

Four. Reform her spirit, but wipe her 'clean'. That is, erase her being.

It was not a preferable choice, wiping memories, erasing bonds and personalities. It was part of the reason central 46 had kept her trial secret. If this was indeed her fate they could only imagine how overwhelmed she might end up becoming if the shinigami sought her. However, they could see barely any other option.

They might have had the powers to reform spirits, to erase them to a 'blank canvas', to start from scratch; but they could not give life back where life was taken. Either the choice, she was to stay a spirit.

Byakuya Kuchiki shifted uncomfortable, eyes closed as he listened to the murmurs. Retsu Unohana stood not far, hands folded in front of her, her eyes also closed. He did make a note, of how ironic it was, that her only defence were people who'd never known her. Regardless, he'd not really known why he agreed to it. Because he knew it would perhaps hurt Rukia if...?

No, that couldn't have been it. No one else knew about the chances for her. So was it because he wanted to see her happy, grinning from ear to ear? He may not have been fond of Kurosaki Ichigo, but his sister was. Now she'd lost one friend, probably two since she'd have no real means of spending time in the human world with Inoue Orihime; did he want to save one of them?

It made no sense to him. From what he'd worked out, no one had really spent much time with her and no one knew her that well. Renji had spent the most time with her it seemed, but he'd not even known her family name. Byakuya wasn't sure if that was pathetic or sad.

He didn't feel sorry for her- he was not doing this out of pity, he knew that much.

Perhaps it was because she could become a strong ally.

He sighed. He supposed if it had been someone else who'd been in her position, sacrificed him or herself for people who were practically strangers, he would have done the same for them. Even to him, what she had done was noble and it was not befitting of one's character to look away at another's sacrifice.

"So it is decided," a loud, clear booming voice declared. The other noises in the room stopped and an eerie silence set in.

It seemed to the two captains present minutes, perhaps an hour passed before any noise was heard again. It was a tense feeling, not unlike the one you felt upon the battleground, waiting for the enemy to move.

"Mogami Shiori will hereby be restored and sent to the rukongai- all of her memories and her current state will be wiped out." The loud voice went quiet again. "Those directly affiliated with her are to be told of her state, but are not permitted to discuss the prior events with her!"

Unohana sighed, smiling softly. It was not a bad ending really, if the previous bonds were supposed to be created, they would be reforged again. Her memories were gone, and there was a chance her personality had changed again; it was hard really, to tell how she would end up now.

"Unohana-taichou." She stepped forward at her name and bowed her head lightly in respect. "You will stay until her spirit is reformed and then escort her to the rukongai, she is in your care until you depart!"

"I understand," she said softly.

Byakuya sighed softly; so they would leave the footwork to him. He supposed if he told Rangiku it would soon get around though he didn't wish to directly speak to her himself. Perhaps he could mention it to Toshirou. He wanted to tell Rukia himself though- the thought of seeing such an elated smile... something that might be able to cheer her up. And as for Renji, well... he would probably end up being the last to know.

Toshirou Hitsugaya was sat in his office. Which, as far as the past week had gone, was strange for him. Usually he'd been training to become stronger- so he'd be able to protect...

"Hinamori..." he sighed softly, staring at the paperwork though not really seeing it.

He debated for a few moments on whether to go back and train but... The paperwork sure wasn't getting done by Matsumoto- like usual- so it was better he do it before there was far too much left to do.

They'd won but... barely. They'd had to rely on someone who wasn't going to be there in the future- they all had to become stronger in case anything like this happened again!

His pencil snapped in half, breaking him out of his thoughts. He sighed softly; he hadn't realised how angry he'd gotten at the thought of that man. He'd caused everyone pain, some emotionally, some physically...

He supposed they should have been lucky, getting off as lightly as they did. Three deaths- thankfully Unohana had saved the count from going up. He stared absently at the spot where his vice-captain usually napped.

She'd been quiet and not herself since. He wished he knew what to say to comfort her, but the words never came. She was lazy, selfish and short tempered, but in many ways she was like an older sister to him. A little annoying, but there when he needed her to be.

And now it was his turn to be there for her... He felt like he was a complete and utter failure. She'd lost two people important to her. A simple, 'I'm sorry' did not seem to cut it, in his mind anyway.

The death of the man she was in love with was probably something only another woman, or someone else in love could help and console her with. He was neither, and really he'd never been fond of Gin. Was it really right to help her when he could barely think a decent thing about the former captain?

And as for Shiori.

Toshirou let out an annoyed sigh and sat back in his chair. "Troublesome."

"If my presence here is troublesome, I can soon leave... Hitsugaya-taichou."

The white haired captain almost jumped at the other voice, but he just stared wide eyed at the sofa in front of him. How long had he been out of it? He hadn't been sat there before, but Byakuya looked quite at home sat there.

He felt a little embarrassed really, and he sighed. "Sorry, I got caught up with my thoughts."

"I could see that."

Both captains were ones of little conversation, and an awkward silence sat in. Hitsugaya was confused- why on earth was he here? It wasn't that he disliked the other captain, but they'd barely ever spoken to each other.

In fact, as far as he remembered, Byakuya had never set foot within his teams compound before.

He blinked a few times fast. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Byakuya shifted awkwardly, before sighing. "I suppose I could have sent the message with a hell butterfly." He seemed more to be talking to himself, but Toshirou's interest was perked.

Something 'important' he'd bring it himself?

Was Hinamori okay? Maybe she was better! But why would it be him telling her? Maybe it was something to do with Ichigo-

"I am here concerning Mogami Shiori."

Hitsugaya was confused now. "M-mogami?"

"I believe 'Cooper' is how you know her." Byakuya looked uncomfortable, he wanted to get to the point.

Toshirou sighed, staring at his desk. He didn't particularly want to talk about it- he barely knew her and yet...

"Central 46 decided upon her fate within a trial," the dark haired captain carried on. He didn't pay attention to the younger captain's stare, and carried on before he could butt in any questions. "Her spirit has been reformed and she has been sent to the rukongai under Unohana-taichou's care, though she has no memory of any of the events." Byakuya stood up. "She is not to be informed or spoken to about the events concerning Aizen Sosuke, but other than that, I assume you're free to converse with her." He paused at the door. "Make sure your fuku-taichou knows that firmly before she rushes off."

It was known that Rangiku had a large mouth.

Toshirou stared dumbly at his desk, not registering when the door opened and closed and the other captain left. He tried to think through his words, but he seemed to be putting two and two together and getting five, not four.

Shiori had survived? But according to those that had been there, all traces of her had gone. No, he'd said 'reformed', so only her soul's 'essence'? Had Kurotsuchi actually done something noble?

He scoffed. "I doubt it."

It had probably been Urahara.

He had no idea how any of this really happened- they'd kept it secret, assuming if things had turned out badly no one would be wiser but... Maybe this would be able to cheer Rangiku up a little, though she was nowhere in sight.

Letting out an annoyed sigh, he stood up from his chair. Usually, he disliked her ability to show up randomly, usually squealing his name, or forcing his face into her chest, and for once, he found himself wishing now would be one of the moments she'd suddenly appear.

Because he had not the first idea of where to find her.

"So I leave Mogami-san within your care." Unohana's voice was soft and gentle as she handed the woman's unconscious form to the other. She'd explained everything- up to the fact some shinigami would probably come looking for her.

They were allowed to see her, but under no circumstance was 'Aizen Sosuke's' name to be uttered. Of course, both knew the girl would eventually go her own way. There was a chance she would end up becoming a shinigami and then it would only be a matter of time before she heard the name.

Even though central 46 had erased her memories, there was still the risk of them coming back, and they were terrified of the prospect of her devising a mutiny. No one really thought they would, but they were being safe.

Mostly Shiori would stay with this woman for a time until she felt she could go on her own. She would learn the simple skills and knowledge to survive in the rukongai from this woman, and then...

Well, only time would tell.

Unohana stared intently at the woman. From what she'd been told, the woman's hair and body had changed upon Aizen Sosuke's inference with her body, but she seemed back to how she was before. If the descriptions she'd had were true anyway.

Her hair was chin length and a dark brown, a bit scruffy in places and she had a fringe which just covered her forehead and bordered on covering her eyes if it was left to grow much more. She was small- supposedly as small as Kuchiki Rukia, and her pale face was lined with a few freckles.

"I trust you to look after her well, Hirako-san." Unohana gave the other woman a small bow, before taking her leave.

Hanabi sighed softly, staring gently at the sleeping woman in her arms. She'd wake up in perhaps a few hours, clueless as to how she got there- or even where she was. It was not the first time she'd taken in 'new souls' at the request of soul society, though never before had the situation been quite like this.

And those souls had not the capacity to be able to become Shinigami like this one. It was a first for a lot of things really. Perhaps tomorrow she'd take her to see Kyuukaku, send a message to the human world about her status.

For now though, she needed rest.

Hanabi chuckled, taking her into her small house and resting her on a futon. She wore a simple red robe- it was thick enough to keep her warm if it got cold, though probably too thick for the current bought of good weather they seemed to be having.

The elder woman was fairly short too- though perhaps stood five or so inches above the other. Her curves were subtle, but they were there, easy to spot if she wore the right clothes.

Her hair reached her waist, though it was always tired up simply to keep out of her face during her housework, and was a soft, bubblegum pink colour. Her eyes were large and a fierce blue colour. She too, had once been pale, though being outside in the sun quite often had darkened her up a little.

Hirako Hanabi could not quite remember how long she'd been within soul society. Thinking about it made her feel quite old, and though her face was creased in places with small lines, she did not wish to get older.

"Only as young as you feel," she chuckled to herself, kneeling simply beside the other girl's side. Though even she could admit, she did not feel quite as young as she did before.

Hanabi was not as gifted as her friends, nor her younger brother to be able to become a Shinigami. At first, she'd resented them all for becoming one and leaving her alone, but, shortly after they had graduated, each often came to see her.

She lived alone, but often found herself wishing for less company. She never found herself lacking in conversation, and so she could not complain. It was shortly after her brother had become a captain, that she'd started looking after souls that the shinigami asked of her. All she had to do was look after them for a few days, weeks or a month or so until they got their footing, and then they could either choose to stay, or they could leave.

Most of them left and the few who did initially stay did eventually leave too. Ever since the exile of Urahara Kisuke and Yoruichi, she'd had nothing really to do with the shinigami.

She'd despised them for what had become of her brother under their noses and wished very much that someone would get revenge. Those dark and somewhat spiteful thoughts and wishes had disappeared quite quickly, but she refused to speak to a single shinigami, even though they tried frequently.

Mogami Shiori was the first person in a long time that she had taken in, for the simple fact, she could not turn her away. Even if her brother could still not come back to her, Aizen Sosuke, the one who ended up separating them had his comeuppance.

The girl didn't really have much to do with that, but it was his fault she was here in the first place. It wasn't pity, nor self duty she felt to look after her. She supposed there was some form of respect for her, but not much else.

How could one feel such shallow emotions for someone you barely knew?

Shiori, however, did not deserve to suffer and did not deserve to be alone, she had earned that much. Even though she wouldn't be alone for too much longer. When the few shinigami who knew her learnt of her new whereabouts, they were bound to give her more company than she could ever want.

Hanabi smiled softly, watching the girl intently with her blue eyes as she stirred softly. "Mogami-san, can you hear me?" She lent over her.

Shiori's eyes fluttered open, and she blinked a few times to get used to the sudden radiance above her, for the most part, the elder woman blocked it out but the few bits which escaped past her still stung her eyes.

"Mogami...?" Her voice was soft, shy, unsure and on the higher side of the octave scale.

"Yes, Mogami Shiori; do you not remember your name?"

According to Unohana, she had memories up until she'd moved back to Karakura down. She would not remember the shinigami, or anything after that. It was kind of sad really, friendships so easily lost.

_But so easily regained too_, she thought softly, appraising the young girl.

"Y-yes..." Shiori slowly sat up, hand running through her dark, messy hair. "It's just... been a long time since someone used 'Mogami'," she frowned for a few moments. She felt quite like she was missing something.

Shiori's bright green eyes glanced around, taking in her surroundings. She paused for a few moments, before her soft pink lips pursed out into a small pout.

"Where am I?"

Hanabi closed her eyes, chuckling softly. How many times had she had the same conversation with close to a thousand different people?

"You're in a place called soul society, what do you remember last?"

Shiori frowned lightly, hand resting on her forehead as she thought. "I remember being in a car with my mother... and it was raining," she closed her eyes. "Raining quite hard." She shook her head frantically, eyes opening to stare intently at the other woman. "It's... empty after that."

Hanabi sighed, closing her eyes. "Soul society is where the deceased go," she explained softly. "If you can't remember much more after that, I'd assume your death was quick and peaceful."

The dark haired girl's eyes widened for a few moments. She replayed the words a few times, then frowned. "I see."

Still, it didn't seem quite right. Being dead... no that sounded right, but... Well; everything was dark, how was she supposed to remember how she'd died? How was she supposed to remember if there was pain, or if it had been quick or slow?

"My name is Hirako Hanabi," she smiled softly, brushing her own hair out from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

"I suppose you already know me," Shiori uttered, cheeks going a soft crimson. "Mogami Shiori. How did you know my name anyway?"

Hanabi paused, hand resting on the back of her neck. "The shinigami who sent you here told me, she came to check on you after she'd sent you and she requested I take care of you."

Shiori nodded at her words, before biting down on her lip for a few moments. "... Shinigami?"

Hanabi chuckled for a few seconds, before she gracefully rose to her feet. "You should rest for a few moments and I'll grab you some food-" she paused when the other woman opened her mouth. "I'll explain how you can be hungry when you're dead after, it'll tie in explaining about Shinigami anyway."

Shiori was left staring at the empty air-space where the woman had been. She'd left quickly, but had lost no grace, elegance or poise with the briskness. The woman's confident aura and overall majesty was quite intimidating.

"Dead, huh?" She sighed, hands resting in her lap as she closed her eyes. It unnerved her how calm she really felt hearing that. Shouldn't she be shocked? Frantic maybe? Perhaps she was just dreaming.

No, it did not feel like that. She trusted what the other woman said, she trusted that she was indeed now nothing more than a spirit. So why was she so calm? It was as if some part of her already knew she was... dead. Some part of her already knew where she was.

She could think of no other reason as to why she would feel so calm with the fact she was dead and in a completely strange place. Maybe that was how it was supposed to feel, maybe that was how everyone felt. Perhaps she should ask the other woman but... if that wasn't how she was supposed to feel she'd perhaps be branded a freak or something. And so, she decided she'd be better off keeping that to herself.

Sighing, the green eyed woman closed her eyes and brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

_Death is peaceful._

_But if I had to perish twice,_

_I think I know enough of hate,_

_To say that for destruction- Ice,_

_Is also great, and would suffice._

- Robert Frost.


	2. Two: Constrict

Chapter two

Hitsugaya Toshirou was the youngest captain the gotei-13 had seen ever. His zanpakuto was one of the strongest ice-based types, and he was branded a genius amongst most of soul society. He was short in height and people never let him forget it- much to his annoyance. He had short, spiky snow white hair and his personality often matched the colour.

Well, not snowy; but cold.

To most, he probably came off as quite serious with no idea how to have fun. Oh he knew how to have fun and relax, but it was more important to be serious. Even now. Even with Aizen Sosuke carefully imprisoned and the threat from him pretty much diminished.

One would have assumed the young captain would have lightened up a little; Matsumoto Rangiku, his vice-captain (his second in command one could say), had assumed that too, and now stood in front of him with a large pout.

"If you carry on training yourself like that, you're going to make yourself sick."

Toshirou didn't reply; it was important he got stronger, next time anything happened... he'd protect Hinamori, not hurt her... not almost- he shuddered and closed his eyes at the thought.

Matsumoto was doing his head in, he needed a way to- he blinked, suddenly remembering his visit from the other captain the day previously. That would be enough to keep her out of his hair.

"Matsumoto," his eyes narrowed as he watched her roll over on the couch, staring at him with large, puppy dog eyes. People often doubted her, she was messy, selfish, a slob, hot tempered and had moments of idiocy; but he didn't doubt her. She was strong and she had a large heart.

Right now, her eyes shone of hope that with his soft spoken tone, came some form of agreement to getting drunk with her. Of course, she knew that would never happen- but she could still hope.

"I need to talk to you... About Shiori," he shifted uncomfortably, not liking how suddenly her expression had changed.

"I don't want to talk about her," she mumbled, rolling back over onto her back and string at the ceiling.

"Shiori is alive."

The office fell silent for a few moments, he could hear the gears turning in her mind; and slowly, she sat up. Of course, he'd expected her expression. She didn't doubt him- he wouldn't joke or lie about that, but she was confused.

"You have to let me finish speaking, but I'll tell you where she is."

Rangiku's face practically brightened. "She's in soul society?"

Toshirou let out an exasperated sigh. "Matsumoto!" he nodded when she sat down silently, staring at him impatiently. "Urahara Kisuke managed to find the particles of her spirit after she... died. Because her spirit was so changed, she didn't quite blend in anywhere and he was able to get her." He could tell the science part was going over her head, so he skipped most of it.

"She was brought here and the central 46 passed judgement on her state and what was to be done about it," his eyes narrowed. He still didn't like that idea of it, but, well... they had given her a second chance. "They reformed her spirit, but..."

Rangiku shifted. "But?" She didn't like 'buts', and she didn't like the confused expression on his face. He wasn't puzzled... he was worried how to say what he had to. She was impatient to know, but kept silent. She wanted so badly to see her again, to apologise for not protecting her... She must have been so scared and she must still be terrified and lonely. She wanted to hold her like she had the night her mother had died, and she wanted her to smile again. Maybe she would become a shinigami, maybe they could be friends this time. She couldn't say no in a second life time, could she?

Toshirou's eye twitched, she was pretty much in a daze and she half jumped when he spoke again. "They erased her memories back to when she first arrived at Karakura town," he said simply. "She believes she died in a car accident that night, apparently, and she remembers nothing of us or Aizen..." he sighed lightly. "The central 46 have forbidden anyone talking to her about those things, but they say everyone is free to talk to her. It's likely she'd become a shinigami anyway."

So Renji had been right! Matsumoto was almost flabbergasted, she was alive! Even if she didn't remember, they could still be her friend. She may even become their comrade, work with them!

"So where is she?"

The captain sighed. "Matsumoto... promise you won't go over the top. She's probably confused, Unohana-taichou says she'd have woken up late last night. She's not had long to adjust-"

"You've known since yesterday?"

He rubbed his forehead; he should have known this... "Because I didn't want you to rush over there and hound her! Would you have been able to control yourself?"

Matsumoto pouted, but shook her head.

"Exactly!" He stared at her firmly. "Unohana left her in the care of Hirako Hanabi, don't go and scare her-" he sighed, she'd rushed off before he could even finish. Really, he saw no point in Shiori not remembering. If, or rather when, she became a Shinigami, she was going to hear Aizen's name at some point. Someone would mention it to her... Maybe central 46 just hoped that she would love soul society enough when she did remember that she would pose no threat.

–

Shiori had not really slept well that night, or, rather; she just hadn't been tired. She felt like she'd been asleep for the past few months or something. Hanabi had explained everything to her, she felt almost dazed that things like this really did exist. It was... amazing really, like straight from a book or a horror film. And she had the 'affinity' to become a shinigami too?

Hanabi had been very serious when she told her that, that was why she was in her care. Because she needed looking after, she could become a good shinigami if she was taught how.

It did seem funny to her; surely a few other spirits who came here could also become shinigami, so why weren't they here? Well, she supposed it would do no good to really think too much on it. Hanabi seemed like a generous, kind hearted person and so she didn't want to seem like she was complaining about how gracious she was being.

She also insisted she do nothing to do with the 'housework' for a few days. Shiori was yet again amazed. Housework, even cooking. She felt bad about that one though- apparently she only needed to eat because of her 'reishi', because she could become a shinigami. So she was the only one in the house who could eat, yet Hanabi still cooked a lot and with no help.

Currently, Shiori was left alone in the small house. Hanabi had gone off to see one of her friends; she had the option of going out and 'exploring', but it seemed so busy and a little scary. She was positive she'd get lost, so she opted to staying inside, for now anyway.

"Hello?"

She sat up, staring intently at the door. Sighing softly, Shiori stood up and headed into the entry room, feeling quite intimidated by the new guest. She was tall, beautiful, well endowed and... well, she seemed to ooze confidence. She wore a black shihakusho, and had a sword stuffed into a sash around her waist. She also wore an arm band on the top of her arm with the number '10' on it. Just from her attire Shiori realised she was a shinigami.

And she had the strangest sense of deja vu when they stared at each other. The beautiful Shinigami's blue eyes stared into her own, and she could have sworn she should have known them. Even the woman's scent, her voice...

"Hanabi-san isn't here."

Rangiku smiled kindly, telling herself not to overreact. She'd come alone first- she could tell Renji and bring him over some other time, but first, she'd just wanted to see for herself, hear, smell... sense her.

"I was looking for you actually, if you're Shiori."

Shiori stiffened. "I-I am."

Rangiku chuckled softly, taking her shoes off and brushing her hair aside as she stepped into the house. "Don't seem so concerned! Unohana-taichou told me about you... she's the one who brought you here," she frowned at the other woman's confusion, before she nodded. She did seem quite scared. "She told me that you might become a shinigami one day."

"W-well.. I'm not really sure about.. anything like that... Hanabi-san mentioned it, but..."

Matsumoto stifled a giggle; she was as shy as when they first met! The 'new' Shiori after Aizen had finished with her, had been quite nice, fiery and strong but... she liked the sweet, naive and shy Shiori best.

"You have a good amount of reishi," Matsumoto murmured. More than what she'd had as a human. She supposed that was only natural- Ichigo's had been high because he was aware of spirits, surrounded by them and had actually become a shinigami himself.

Shiori was a proper spirit now, so it probably developed from the limitations of her human body.

"Either way, it does need to be trained, you'll get sick if you use too much up without realising, there's a chance you could hurt someone else too."

The young girl paled. "B-but... but I wouldn't!"

Rangiku chuckled. "I know, but I didn't men intentionally. Her captain's reishi was quite cold, probably some sort of effect of his zanpakuto. In result, Yamamoto's was also quite warm and his was fire based.

She could feel hers so clearly. Warm and gentle; soothing, calming... Very relaxing. She felt at complete ease around her, and it was a good temperature inside. The previous day had been warm and quite beautiful, but that day was quite overcast and chilly. The fact the inside of the house was quite warm could only come from her reishi.

The vice-captain smirked softly. To be able to warm up a house- no matter how small, just by reishi alone, was quite a feat. She would become a good shinigami. Hadn't her power been mind reading? Maybe that would be her zanpakuto, though she didn't understand how mind reading could be fire based.

Unless her theory about her captain's reishi, and Yamamoto's was wrong. That was a possibility; doubtful though.

"Have you been around the rukongai yet?" She was quite fortunate to end up in one of the nicer parts, she had been placed here on purpose, to be looked after and have an eye kept on her until she joined the academy but, still...

"N-no... it seemed quite busy and loud... and big, I was positive I'd get lost."

Matsumoto smiled hugely at her; still so shy! "I could show you around, if you wanted," she offered her hand; slipping her shoes on. She hoped desperately she'd take her hand, maybe she'd open up to her this time around.

Shiori stared hesitantly at the limb, before taking it. Her skin was warm, soft and smooth. "Um."

"Matsumoto Rangiku," she introduced, practically pulling her shoes on for her, before dragging her out. "It's really quite cold out!" She pouted. "But you're very warm, Shiori-chan."

Shiori blushed softly, hiding under her bangs when the other woman laughed. She wished she had as much hair as her so she could just hide within her locks, hide from the comments and... "What's going on?"

As they'd journeyed into the town, there had been quite a lot of commotion going on. Neither had really paid much thought to it, both assuming I was always that way but, as they paid attention.

"They're screaming, did something happen?"

What could possibly happen that spirits were afraid of?

Matsumoto tensed, asking herself the same question- though she had her answer. "Shiori, stay here," she muttered, taking off with her shunpo before the other woman could question her.

What was going on? Why were there hollows here? It was very rare they even came into soul society, and it had no reishi. No, no it did. Rangiku's eyes went wide. "Shiori's reishi is stronger than I thought."

It had completely hidden it! Or, maybe, she'd been so relaxed by the girls warming, calming aura, that even if she had noticed the hollow she just hadn't paid it attention. Was her reishi that strong? Or had it just been the shock of it, the happiness too of having her back?

As she grew closer to the scene, she found three hollows. One quite short, about the size of an infant- clung to the middle sized ones hand. Quite obviously female too; her eyes were closed and she was speaking so quietly it was inaudible.

The third was the normal type of hollow, and seemed to be reacting to the others commands.

_Arrancar?_ It was possible for hollows to become Arrancar without Aizen's assistance of course, but it was rare, and they weren't as strong. But, these... they felt different. They were hollow, she could feel and see that. Both the two humanoid ones had hollow holes, though there was no trace of any sort of mask like with the Arrancar.

So what were they?

Matsumoto gasped, dropping her zanpakuto as the younger of the two's eyes locked onto hers. Her whole body had frozen and it took a lot of strength to be able to breathe!

The elder looked up at her gasp, eyes shining with malice as she smiled pleasantly and walked forward. She stopped just in front of her, before resting her finger on her forehead.

"W-what are you?"

"Oh, my, how impressive; you can speak under her paralysis," she mused, chuckling lightly. "I don't think what we are is important, as for who... well, isn't it manners to introduce yourself first?"

Matsumoto let out a slight whimper; it felt like something was constricting her, like a snake wrapped around her. It got tighter at her words, and she was unable to ask.

"Cat got your tongue?" she sneered. "No matter, we're not here to kill. Just to seek, would you tell me where the thing was I sought?" she smiled when Rangiku glared at her. "That's what I thought." She turned back, heading to the younger girl. "We're done here, hollow-kun?" she smiled sweetly when the hollow turned to them. "Feel free to finish off here, we're going home."

Matsumoto was instantly released from her invisible binds and fell to the floor the moment the two women disappeared. No garganta need, it wasn't even shunpo or sonido. They'd disappeared completely, not even a trace of their reishi left behind.

She braced herself, looking up at the large hollow as it's fist loomed over head. Haineko was too far away, and her body was too shaky to move. Maybe one of the other shinigami sensed it and would come to her aid? She closed her eyes, hoping, hoping-

"Yo~"

Her eyes snapped open, staring intently at the other two women; one of which was perched on the wall guardian's shoulder. "Kyuukaku... Hanabi-san!"

Hanabi sighed, coming over to her. "Can you move?"

Matsumoto nodded, standing up weakly as Kyuukaku dispensed of the hollow quite easily. It wasn't even strong- was it there for the destruction? "Did you see the two...?"

Hanabi frowned for a few moments, then looked away. "I could sense her, there were two?" she felt troubled. Even if she wasn't gifted with a good amount of reishi, she was still able to sense it.

"Well," she sighed, "No use talking about it now."

"Rangiku-san?" Shiori hurried over, panting softly, before anything else could be said. "Oh.. Hanabi-san. Is everything okay?" she turned to the shinigami. "I know you said to wait back there, but I had a bad feeling so.. I... I'm sorry!"

Rangiku blinked a few times, laughing softly. "You didn't' do anything wrong." A bad feeling? Did she sense them, or was it like Renji's 'feeling' of her being alive? If she'd come earlier... perhaps she'd have died.

"Are you okay?"

Matsumoto smiled lightly. "I'm fine, Shiori-chan." However when she moved, she winced softly. "Maybe a few bruises," she frowned. It felt like a few bruises but... inside. It was kind of weird. "I think I should go see Unohana-taichou actually... and I need to make a report about that."

Hanabi sighed, resting a hand on Shiori's shoulder. "Maybe Rangiku-san will make it so you can visit her if she can't come soon, huh?"

Shiori blushed, had it been that obvious she was going to ask when she'd be able to see her next?

Rangiku gulped, the pain disappearing for a few moments. She felt suddenly happy. Shiori had tried to get rid of her attentions in the human world, but here she was, wanting to see her again. Spend more time with her.

"I'm sure I can do that, but I might be back tomorrow if I can; I'll bring someone else with me, huh?" She grinned hugely, rubbing her side. She had no real idea why they were keeping this secret from her, not even mentioning the hollow but... she didn't much like Hanabi's expression.

She was troubled, confused and seemed anxious to get her away. And... of course, this wasn't Aizen's doing, because he was safely locked up. Maybe they'd have to ask him why though, if he knew anything... Not that he'd willingly tell anyone.

She let out an annoyed sigh, using her shunpo to head back. She pain was bearable, so she'd file her report first, then check out the damage and see if it was worth seeing Unohana about. She was busy enough without her silly little bruises.

Still, what did this mean? Who was behind this? What were they? She said they were looking for something, but, what?

Rangiku let out an annoyed sigh as she came into her captain's office. Just when she thought they could relax and get over the damage Aizen had caused, this happens!

_This is just peachy..._


	3. Three: Shinigami

_Just a note, I can't remember if I referred to the colour of Renji's eyes before and Bleach wikia doesn't have the info any more, so I'll say they're brown._

_Can't say I enjoy this chapter too much, I felt rather tedious writing it... but alas, here it is!_

Chapter Three

Shinigami

Shiori could not be sure what happened the few days prior- no one spoke of it to her, and when she brought the subject up with Hanabi, she would immediately change the subject to something completely unrelated. Even asking about Rangiku seemed to be forbidden, and she felt cut off.

Matsumoto was possibly her only friend here, wasn't it only right that she was allowed to ask and know how she was? She'd said she'd come visiting with one of her friends, but...

Almost a week had passed, and there had not even been a trace of Shinigami since. Not even a message saying that she was free to go in and visit herself. Maybe she dreamt the whole thing up- after all, she'd clearly seen the hollow destroy half the street, but the day after it had been like nothing happened.

The residents of the small village didn't even seem to be weary or scared of anything. Shiori could only assume the whole day had been a dream- perhaps Rangiku did not exist, perhaps none of it had ever happened. Maybe Hanabi was changing the subject because it meant she was going mad- and no one would want her to be mad after all.

Still, Rangiku's scent and the feel of her body had been all too real for it to just be a... dream. Maybe that was how things worked here- she didn't really understand any of the rules after all, no one explained much to her. Hanabi spent most of her time out of the small house and at her friends Kyuukaku's instead. Shiori was lonely but said nothing.

Shiori sighed softly; sat on the roof of the small house. It was such a nice day, and she'd done all the chores that Hanabi left, it was okay for her to relax in the brilliant sun, right?

She pouted lightly, watching the clouds go by. Every now and then she'd pick out one that looked like something else, chuckling when she noticed one that looked quite like a Lion. She did wonder if she was really dead- this place was too... too much like something out of a movie or a story. But, still... shinigami, most people not needing food... the few 'Kidou' she'd seen Kyuukaku perform; there was no other explanation for it.

So she had to be dead, or she'd gone mad. She didn't know which was better- death or madness. So what about those hollows? She couldn't be more mad if she was already mad- so she was either mad and they were real, or she was dead **and** mad.

She groaned.

"Neither sounds too good to me..."

She didn't really know what she'd expected afterlife to be like- nothing she supposed. Death was the end... yet here it was, just as lively as life. Maybe more-so. That couldn't' be right- she wasn't religious, so she was positive it had nothing to do with that. There had to be some logical explanation for everything, it was just... no one seemed to be wanting to tell her.

"Oh hurry up!"

She blinked a few times, sitting up at the voice. She'd recognised it instantly, and she didn't care if it hadn't come to visit her- she would interrupt and get the information she needed herself! It wasn't like her to be so rash, but it had been a week since she'd promised to return and she'd not even sent a note to say she'd be delayed.

"Rangiku-san!"

Her anger dissipated as she let herself down onto the ground; unable to conceal the large grin on her face. Rangiku looked exactly as she remembered and smelt the same too. It felt much longer than a week since she last saw her- she looked good, no sign of the 'fight' that had broken out. Perhaps she had been mistaken and nothing had happened.

Matsumoto smirked softly, hands on her hips as she stared intently at the red head beside her. He'd gone silent and almost hesitant to arrive- scared she wouldn't be the same perhaps. But now he just looked... "You're catching flies," she muttered under her breath, before embracing the younger girl.

"Sorry I didn't come sooner," she smiled lightly. "We had a lot of work to do concerning the attack."

So she hadn't been mistaken- what did that mean?

"But I brought a friend with me!"

Renji stared hesitantly; it was hard to believe it was the same girl. She looked exactly as she had when they'd first met, and her personality seemed some mix between how she'd been then, and how she'd been when she died. She seemed so happy too as she chatted with a large grin to Rangiku. He wondered if he'd be intruding upon that.

What if by getting close to her, all her memories would come back? Would she remain happy? Maybe she'd be angry, hurt and upset. He sighed softly.

"Shiori-chan, this is Renji!"

Renji grumbled lightly; Matsumoto was always so care free and well... "Abarai Renji," he introduced, feeling a little awkward. The girl didn't remember him at all, but he did remember her; even her scent was the same and it was like some sort of hell.

Shiori smiled lightly, shyly hiding under her bangs. "Hello, Renji."

She felt incredibly strange, and it was increasing by the moment. She'd had an amazing sense of deja vu when she'd met Rangiku, but it was nothing compared to this. She could feel the air leaving her lungs, but didn't register breathing to replace it. She was positive she'd met him before- she stared him over, eyes scanning every last inch of him; it was like she'd done it before... More than once.

His eyes didn't startle her either; they were a deep, beautiful brown colour. Anyone else seeing them the first time, any normal woman, would probably be taken back at them. She just blushed and smiled shyly; positive that she'd gazed into them before.

None of this made sense to her!

"Um, Hanabi-san is out."

Rangiku chuckled. "We didn't come to visit her!" she sighed. "Our captain's sent us, actually."

Shiori frowned; she remembered her host telling her about how the gotei 13 worked. Thirteen teams, with a captain and vice-captain, with seated officers under them; and non seated below that. Each squad usually excelled at one thing in particular, but they were all strong.

Shiori's pale cheeks flustered red again when she noticed Renji's stare and she gulped, turning to face the woman. "Your captain's...?"

Rangiku grinned. "There was a meeting," her grin disappeared for a few moments, both Renji and Shiori noticed- neither said anything. "It was decided you would have to become a shinigami sooner," she frowned. "Hollow's aren't supposed to come here, and the ones that did get here weren't... proper hollows."

Shiori felt, well... confused; she didn't see what this had to do with her. Did they need the extra 'fire power' or something?

Renji sighed, deciding to take over the explanation. "Sou-taichou decided it would be better if you went to the Academy as soon as possible; we think they were drawn to your reiatsu. It's stronger than most here and uncontrolled," he frowned.

So they wanted to train her so she wasn't a threat to the others? It sounded fair enough, but she didn't quite believe them.

"But... wouldn't they have attacked me when they were here...?" she frowned. "Or come back while I was on my own?"

She watched them both stiffen up and stared at each other. So that was how it was gonna be; neither were going to tell her a thing. She was going to be kept in the dark. Shiori let out a frustrated sigh.

"I have a right to know."

Renji chuckled, smirking softly. She was still shy and quiet, but she'd brought her fiery temperament from... Aizen's interference on her body. She was, seemingly, a perfect mix of both sides of her.

"It's your choice," he said at length. "You can go soon, or wait a while if you want." It would just be easier for them- plus, they were hoping her 'kind nature' would take over.

Shiori sighed; she didn't want anyone to get hurt because of her. "Fine, I'll go whenever is best..." She supposed she had to wait until the new term began or something.

"Great!" Matsumoto's face lit up and she rested a hand on her hip. "Sou-taichou made some arrangements so you can join the last group who went- they've been there a few months, so you'd have to learn quickly." She doubted she'd have much issue learning- she was already more experienced than a lot of the shinigami who graduated. She may not have been an amazing fighter, or taught the shinigami way of things but... she had footwork, speed and basic manipulation of reishi. She would be fine.

Renji sighed softly; curious as to who's team she'd end on. Unohana's would be a no, and so would Kenpachi's. She was strong, but she didn't enjoy the fighting. They'd probably purposefully keep her away from 'those threes' teams- so who?

Toshirou's would be a good choice, she already knew them and he liked her. Plus she'd have Rangiku to keep her company and help her with everything. Or maybe his own team, it might take a bit to convince Byakuya to allow her there but... he was positive his captain would eventually give in.

Maybe she'd even be placed on Soifon's team. Shiori was fast enough to fit in there for sure, and the security around her would be the best; but then there was also a chance she'd have to deal with prisoners, and that was never a good thing.

He found it absurd really. The 'hollow attack', which only Rangiku had been present for had caused a great deal of alarm. Plus no one really knew what they were, or what they were after, but... Yamamoto had seemed adamant and firm when he'd said they were probably after Shiori.

But why?

Had Aizen done something to her that the Hollow's needed? Maybe something to secure his freedom. He doubted it could be that, her spirit had been torn apart and reassembled; if Aizen had put anything in there like the hyougyoku, they'd have found out.

Maybe she had information that they could use, if they got her memories back- she'd remember and be able to help free Aizen.

No, he didn't believe that. If she wanted to help Aizen, she wouldn't have fought on their side before. She wouldn't have died fighting him. Aizen was the one who'd killed her- maybe it was part of his plan but, well... he trusted Shiori.

Still, Yamamoto was adamant that she become a shinigami as soon as possible. She'd be able to be protected without having to tell her anything, and she'd perhaps end up being able to protect herself too. And while she was in the academy, she'd be safe in case there was any more attacks.

Plus they weren't sure of what these hollows were. Kurotsuchi had analysed the reishi from their visit, and apparently they were closer to shinigami than even the arrancar were, but they were definitely hollow. In fact, he wasn't entirely sure what they were and he said he wanted to 'capture' one to do some tests and experiment.

As long as he didn't touch Shiori...

He sighed; watching the two women play together. Rangiku was attacking her with a mass amount of tickles to cheer her up or something- he'd not been paying attention, so he didn't understand why she needed cheering up. Maybe she was upset about leaving this place. She'd only been here a week, had she grown attached to it?

He couldn't to become a shinigami when he'd first arrived, but she was fortunate and in the nicer area. His eyes narrowed, watching Rangiku wince every time she would bend down. She'd done it more than a few times recently; she was trying to hide it, or ignore it.

_I wonder why Hitsugaya-taichou hasn't carted her off to Unohana-taichou..._

She was obviously in pain; was it from the hollow attacks? Maybe her captain was anxious if she alerted anyone to an injury, Kurotsuchi would take over, experiment- try and drain all the reishi from any sort of wound...

He shuddered.

Rangiku could be annoying sometimes- especially when she teased him about his feelings for the 'human', but he wouldn't wish that sort of fate on anyone. Kurotsuchi was creepy and... who knew what he did to the people who went in there! Most never came out.

He sighed idly, taking a seat on the porch of the small house in the shade. Were those 'hollows' really after her? Why? Wasn't it just kinder to leave her like this? She was happy and didn't have to fight... it seemed wrong to condemn her to becoming a shinigami.

She probably wouldn't want to fight, wouldn't that make her resent them if she ever got her memories back? She'd hate them when they could have left her... free and happy. Instead they were all but deciding her life for her, even when they knew the 'future' she'd rather for herself.

He didn't really understand the point in the whole thing. It would be nicer to leave her happy- they could figure out what those hollow's were and stop them while she remained oblivious.

Or, were they that strong? Was Yamamoto concerned? They'd lost a lot with Aizen's defection, and a lot more shinigami were out of commission since the war. Not only that, but they'd lost Ichigo and the other humans aid. Did they really need Shiori's 'strength' too? She wasn't even a fighter...

"Renji!" Matsumoto pouted, suddenly in his face. "Stop moping around over here! It's a nice day, enjoy the sun!" She dragged him up, and pushed him over to the young girl before he could react or protest.

Shiori stuttered, cheeks going red as she hid within her hair when he fell into her; knocking her over, and landing above her. He seemed completely un-phased but Matsumoto was giggling to herself like mad back where she stood.

"Um..."

Renji muttered, hoping up before she could say much more; pulling her up before she even asked. Shiori blushed more, hand lingering on his for a while. His skin was warm, and his hands were rough but gentle with her.

"Um... thank you," she mumbled, pulling her hand from his shyly. He probably thought she was some stuttering, bashful girl with a complex or something. Maybe he thought she had no brain and couldn't form a coherent sentence!

Still, something was off. Both of them were acting a little suspiciously- and wasn't the whole thing just a bit too convenient? Plus all those 'strings' that were pulled for her so she could become a shinigami; why was it so important that she couldn't wait until they were officially admitting new students?

_Something tells me, even if I ask; I won't find out._


	4. Four: Emergency

_Okay so this fic works a bit differently to 'decode' as it's set through multiple points of view, and obviously they can't all be in the same place at the same time, so...! I have a question, would you- my readers- prefer longer chapters covering more than one character, or shorter chapters which only covers one? So... in other words, the chapters either as a few written into one larger chapter, or smaller ones posted separately? It's all going to get written anyway._

_Shorter chapters probably mean faster updates and longer means slower updates, 'cause I get bored writing long chapters and have to take a break._

Chapter four

Emergency

Rangiku paced anxiously through the halls along her teams quarters. It had been roughly four and a half months since she'd... 'discovered' Shiori and she'd entered into the academy for her 'training'. They had been so busy trying to find and research about these new Hollow's she'd had no chance to go see how she was getting on. Not that it made any difference; when she finally got the chance to go, her captain had forbidden it. She understood his reasoning- that Shiori already had 'strings pulled' to get her in, if she was seen with a vice-captain or two... It would do no good for her 'reputation' with the other students. As it was, she would probably become a seated officer when she left- the last thing she needed was ridicule for 'special treatment' just because she was friendly with a lot of Shinigami.

The vice-captain pushed her blonde hair over her shoulder and let out an annoyed sigh as she came to a stop. It was a nice day, good weather, not much paperwork to be done. Little of any sort of work. The majority of soul society was silent; really it was good napping conditions, it was peaceful and calm. It wouldn't surprise her if she was the only stressed out and anxious person around. Who could find anything to worry about on a day like this? Rangiku could, and she wondered if Renji could find something too.

Her captain had taken off about two hours ago after receiving a message from a hell butterfly. He'd quit his paperwork, looked up sharply at her; barked orders for her to stand in charge until he got back, and he'd rushed off.

Of course, she'd called after him what the emergency was, and his only reply had been 'Shiori'. Well, there was no way she'd graduated- she might have had more experience than the others, but four months... that was unheard of. Maybe she was injured? He had looked rather scared. Did Byakuya also get called out? Did Renji know something was going on with her? Maybe he was allowed over there...

Byakuya seemed increasingly lenient when it came to Renji and Shiori. It puzzled Rangiku but well, his feelings for the human were obvious- especially if his captain had noticed them too. Still, he hadn't seen Shiori since that day four months ago either, though he'd often ask his captain for any news.

He never had any news for him either- he'd taken a trip to the academy about two months in to observe the last years, maybe spot some potential future members for his team. The crimson haired vice-captain had assaulted him with questions as soon as he'd returned, but his only answer had been, _she's fine_. Byakuya hadn't seemed convinced when he'd said it and seemed half distracted. He'd grown tired of his vice-captain, and shooed him away soon after.

Her snowy haired captain was the same, though he'd not been to the academy himself. She knew he could get leave to go there whenever he wanted; it wouldn't be hard to think of an excuse, and she could tell he was curious for a progress report on her too. There were no talks of an 'amazingly gifted' student or anything- so the only trickle of information anyone had, was from people who went to the school themselves; and even then they had very little of anything to say and most of it never concerned Shiori.

Rangiku let out another aggravated sigh and slumped down onto the wooden floorboards. Her captains reasoning for not going was the same as his for not allowing her to go there; and she did understand and respect that- and had even come to agree with that herself, but...

He didn't have to go there to see her in particular. He didn't even have to talk to her, just observe her, make sure she was doing okay, had friends, wasn't alone... wasn't struggling with her classes. She missed her blush, and the way she'd hide within her hair whenever she got shy or embarrassed. Maybe she could fake some sort of emergency to go to her captain's side, maybe catch a glimpse of her or even overhear what was being said.

"Matsumoto..."

The blonde jumped five foot in the air and let out a high pitched squeal. "T-taichou!" she gasped, staring down at him, resting a hand on her chest as she caught her breath. "You should stop sneaking up on people!"

Toshirou let out an annoyed sigh, arms folded over his chest. "It's not my fault if you're exceptionally unobservant, Matsumoto," his eye twitched. "I don't 'sneak' on purpose."

Rangiku pursed her lips out wanting to disagree. He sneaked up on a lot of people, even other captains, she refused to believe he did it by 'accident'. She sighed, staring at him anxiously. He seemed troubled and a little in thought, she wasn't sure whether to disturb him or not... she wanted to know but...

"Shiori got into a little bit of trouble," he frowned, answering her question before she could ask it. "She hasn't been getting on with some of the others in her classes, she prefers to be alone- spends most of her time studying," he smiled weakly for a bit, before he stared at her firmly.

"She's top of most of her classes, possibly because she studies so much, possibly because she's already got more experience. None of them liked very much that she was able to join after the term had started, and she's already excelling above them? People can be such jealous things.

"She has amazing kidou manipulation, and her use of shunpo exceeds all of her classes- even a lot of her seniors'. The teachers understand why, but of course, no one else can really know why so. They think she's getting extra lessons from in here or something."

Toshirou shifted, sighing before he took a seat next to where his vice-captain had previously been seated. Matsumoto stared at him curiously, before sitting down too. It wasn't often he had her undivided attention. "Of course, she lacks any real will to want to fight- even in her classes she's hesitant to draw her zanpakuto against her classmates," he paused. "She already knows it's name." Of course she did- she was much more 'in-tune' with that side of her than the others, she had enough reishi to be able to communicate with it even before she'd 'met' it, like him. "Most of their ridicule seems to come from jealousy because she's skilled... gifted."

Rangiku scowled. "Is she okay? Did they hurt her?"

"No, they didn't attack her," Toshirou's frown deepened. "She attacked them. She won't tell anyone what they said to her, and no one else heard but," he sighed. "According to her teacher, she was sat alone, reading and a small group of students were stood near her, talking in hushed voices.

"She said they seemed to be innocent, but she kept an eye on them. She said she couldn't hear a single thing they said, and she'd intended on going over- but one of the other students was practising a kidou and it blew up in his face. She went to attend to that, and when she turned back around, Shiori had two of them knocked out, and one of the boys pinned to the ground."

Rangiku stifled a laugh. "It sounds like they deserved it." Seemed like Shiori kept a bit more of that 'fiery personality' than they'd first thought.

"Matsumoto, this is serious," he reprimanded, sighing and nodding when she stared at him; seemingly accepting what he'd said. "It's out of character of her- for her human side anyway. Furthermore, her reishi resembled a hollow's at that point more than it did ours. They said she seemed to be in a trance when she did it, and Shiori herself doesn't remember what happened.

"She remembered reading, hearing them talking and then remembered nothing until she was in one of the empty classrooms," he frowned. "They think what Aizen did to her spirit in Hueco Mundo couldn't be reversed, and even if she's mostly to how she was as a human- she's still partly Hollow and she has no control over it."

A silence set in, both over thinking everything that had been said. It was a serious situation, sure, but... hadn't Ichigo learnt to control his hollow side? And those other shinigami, Shinji and his friends who'd...? Rangiku didn't understand why one of them just couldn't teach her. Was it because they were scared she'd remember? What the hell did that even matter! She was going to find out eventually anyway, and if she became aware of the hollow side... it would be sooner. Wasn't the logical explanation to tell her now while she wasn't completely 'taken over' and help her control it? What if next time she killed someone?

She'd be thrown out then, probably put into prison... locked up in the cell next to Aizen's. She sighed, grumbling lightly.

"So what are they doing with her?"

Toshirou let out an aggravated sigh. "That's the thing- they're doing nothing. Kuchiki-taichou, Unohana-taichou and myself suggested sending her to the human world, or bringing one of them here to train with the Vaizard or Urahara Kisuke, but Genryuusai wouldn't hear of it," he huffed. "Stubborn old fool! He wants us to handle this on our own, we can't rely on 'outside' help but..."

"But Urahara-san already knows about the other hollows, doesn't he?"

"Through Hanabi and Kyuukaku but they don't know everything we do, he's keeping everyone outside of the seireitei in the dark. He doesn't want anyone to think he can't handle it..." He rubbed his forehead, brushing his bangs aside as his fingers ran through his hair. "He's going to 'leave it alone', if it happens again he'll address the issue then," he frowned.

"What if she kills someone?"

Toshirou sighed, pushing himself up. "He's making sure she's got constant supervision, so if it happens again she can't hurt anyone-" he eyed Matsumoto up as she stood up; rubbing her side and wincing. It was still causing her pain? "She'd come pretty close to killing that boy earlier."

Rangiku chuckled trying hard to picture what Renji's reaction would be to this- worried? 'Proud'? Amused, perhaps? She pouted. "I wish I could help her," she frowned. "Alone... she's obviously doing well but... And I know she prefers being alone but... she'll be there for a year or so maybe, she needs to make a few friends..."

"I'm starting to debate giving up my 'it'll make things harder on her,' rule," he admitted. "Maybe, if anything, having a high ranking shinigami friend- maybe they'd lay off."

"Or start on her harder when everyone's backs are turned... there's a chance she'd snap worse and... even if there's someone there to keep an eye on her... what if she just ploughs through them? The arrancar were strong anyway... she's probably not as strong as them but... from what we were told, she's fast."

Toshirou sighed. "Matsumoto... we can worry about this tomorrow." His eyes narrowed when she huffed, grumbling incoherent insults under her breath. "You need to sort yourself out before you worry about her; your side is still hurting you from that attack, it was months ago!"

Rangiku looked away. The whole thing was worse, the pain... there had been no sign of any attack until recently. The area on her side had gone a dark purple- a bruise twice as big as her hand! And in the middle sat two puncture wounds, much like a snake bite. She'd thought nothing of it until that had shown up and the pain increased but... she'd been so busy she had no time to 'check it out'.

"It's nothing."

"I don't believe that," he frowned. "Go to Unohana-taichou, sort it out... you're no good to anyone if you're injured! And I'll tell her you're going over there so you can't wander off elsewhere." He smirked triumphantly when she pouted and waved him off.

Nodding, he turned around to head back to his office and finish off the work he'd abandoned earlier. He paused, waiting for Matsumoto's retreat. One step. Two step, three... he sighed, sliding the door open when it was apparent she was obediently going.

_Thud!_

He was at her side instantly, paling as he stared her over. She'd looked fine besides the wincing! But now she looked pale... she was shaking and covered in a light sheen of sweat. Her blonde hair stuck to her forehead, and her eyes were clenched tightly.

Had she been holding this in the whole time? The fool! _No..._ There was no way she could have held this in for four months! She clutched her side tightly and his eyes narrowed. Matsumoto was stubborn, but, even she couldn't hold in something that caused her as much pain as she was obviously in. Not for four months anyway.

Those hollows had an attack that could cause something like this? Or perhaps it was something else entirely. Maybe she'd had an allergic reaction to something- it wasn't unheard of in spirits, rare and he'd never met a shinigami or spirit who'd had one first-hand, but he'd heard of it and he knew Unohana had dealt with that type of thing a few times.

He grumbled, picking her up in his arms and heading off before she got any worse. So much for peaceful- Shiori and now this. He knew it wasn't either of their faults but... he sighed in annoyance, holding the woman closer. Rangiku would be okay- she had to be.


	5. Five: Byakuya

Chapter five

How long had it been since he'd seen her? A month sounded too long- but it felt like forever since he'd carried her to the fourth squad and Unohana had ushered him off. He hadn't been allowed in to see her since- there were fears that whatever she had could be contagious.

Toshirou scoffed at that idea- if it was infectious, all the people she'd come into contact with (and it was a lot) would have shown some sort of symptoms. Everyone else was in perfect health. What further annoyed him was Yamamoto wanting to keep it on the 'low', that is, if anyone asked about Matsumoto he was simply to say she was taking a hard earned break.

Like anyone believed that.

He tried to distract himself with paperwork, but it did little to help. Unohana wouldn't even answer when he asked if she would be okay eventually- she had no clue what was wrong, even Kurotsuchi had found nothing. It had fuelled his desire to capture one of the new hollows though. To him though, it was just another person he couldn't protect.

He told himself over and over that there was little he could have done- Matsumoto hadn't been near him, but... Maybe if he'd gone to see Shiori with her, or maybe if he'd forced her to see Unohana before. He scowled at himself; he knew blaming himself did no good, yet he did it.

He tried to distract himself with Shiori- but apart from that one incident, nothing had happened since. She'd been pushed forward into the higher classes and was expected to graduate within coming weeks or months. He was unable to forget how frail and ill she had looked the last time he'd seen her though.

Toshirou had gone to tell her about Rangiku- Yamamoto agreed it was for the best she knew that the vice-captain was at least sick, though telling her why wouldn't do much good. He'd almost chickened out of telling her, she was scrawny- smaller than normal, her skin was a sickly white and she'd had heavy bags under her eyes. She was extremely jumpy too- and more isolated than ever.

She'd grown too- she was taller and it made her look awkward. She'd looked fit to cry when he told her about his vice-captain, and he wondered again if it was not kinder to send her to the human world. Those there could help her control her inner hollow. Shiori was doing well with it, but it was obviously taking quite the strain on her...

He sighed softly, running his fingers through his hair. He'd had Abarai visiting him often too- especially if he was taking a trip to the academy. He'd tag along, mostly to see Shiori- though he would always make up some fake excuse. Toshirou never reprimanded him, he was anxious to see her and it seemed to cheer Shiori up a little when she saw him.

Renji's first reaction to seeing her barely shocked him- he'd winced and gawked at her before making a comment about how ill she looked, how maybe they should ask Unohana to look at her but... the last thing either of them wanted was for her to end up locked up in a hospital room with no visitors like Rangiku was- and the rate things were going, that's where she would end up.

Soul society was falling apart, and there was very little any of them could do to stop it. Yamamoto knew plenty of things, but kept them secret from even most of the captains, anyone lower than captain rank wasn't supposed to know anything, though it couldn't really be helped if vice-captain's found out.

And then there was the 'hollows'. They'd made no appearance since- in fact, there was no trace of them anywhere. The only proof they had that they'd even existed was Matsumoto's injury- the reason she was hospitalised and...

He sighed softly. Kurotsuchi had thought he'd be able to 'extract' the reiatsu from her injury and use it to track them down, but... he had found nothing. He'd led an 'expedition' to Hueco Mundo to track them down, or to question the few Arrancar left who were 'friendly' to the shinigami.

They found nothing, and even the left over Arrancar knew nothing. They'd never even known there was a new 'breed' of hollow, and so they were on the lookout themselves. Yoruichi and Urahara were on the lookout in the human world, and Kuchiki Rukia had been placed there to lookout for the humans, in case it was Ichigo they were looking for, but...

"It's all dead ends," he muttered, scowling at his paperwork. It was a horrible day; the sun was shining far too bright, and it was too hot. He shut the curtains into his office, but even so it was still bright enough that he needed no lights on in the room. "Stupid heat..."

"Taichou...?"

He looked up at the meek, timid voice, taking in the woman's figure. He'd expected Hinamori at the tone of the voice, but not... Her hair was still dark and short, but it seemed thicker and more unruly than before. Her eyes were a piercing green, but shadowed by deep bags under her eyes. The freckles painted over her nose and on her cheeks were pale and her skin was almost snow white and sickly- the black of the new shihakusho she wore didn't help with her colouring either. She was easily taller than him (for once), he probably only came to her shoulders now. But she was skinny and frail looking; she didn't look very in proportion.

A zanpakuto with a red hilt sat at her side, looking rather awkward. The tip almost touched the ground, and she was adjusting it every now and then to wedge in her sash a little higher. He'd never seen it before- he was rather impressed at it's sealed state. A larger zanpakuto meant for larger reiatsu.

"Shiori!" his face lit up as much as it could. "When did you...?"

"Y-yesterday," she murmured, fiddling with her fingers as she folded her hands in front of her. "I-I wanted to see Rangiku-san but they wouldn't let me," she frowned.

"They won't let me either," he murmured. He felt rather awkward- not quite sure what to talk to her about, and he was actually surprised she hadn't gone to see Renji first. He'd assumed Byakuya would take her for his own team as soon as she graduated but... "Um..."

"O-oh!" She stood up right, blushing deeply as though she'd suddenly remembered something. "I-I wasn't sure where to go so, someone directed me here..." she frowned. "Unohana-taichou said you would help me find where I was supposed to be." She hid shyly within her bangs.

He had paperwork to do, but the distraction was welcomed. He pushed his chair out, and walked over to her; inwardly grumbling at the fact he now had to look up to her. "Did you get assigned a team yet?"

"Um," she peeled open the top of her robe just lightly, fishing around for a few moments and then pulled out a small piece of paper. Or rather, it was a large piece of paper just folded down into something rather small. "Sixth squad," she uttered, turning the paper around and showing him. "Unohana-taichou told me Kuchiki-taichou was supposed to meet me from the academy, but he was busy."

_So she sent you here_, of course Toshirou was a little annoyed- he had his own work to do but... well, the distraction was a good thing, and that was probably why Unohana had sent her here.

"I-if you're too busy I can memorise the directions."

"No, it's fine," he smiled lightly- she was so jumpy and nervous, it made him just as nervous. He didn't like it- was it those girls who'd done this? It couldn't possibly be the work of her 'inner hollow' or whatever it was; especially since it hadn't appeared at all since that one time... "I'm surprised he didn't send Abarai to greet you at least."

Shiori's cheeks turned a pale hue of pink; Renji was on that team? He was vice-captain of one she knew, but... It had seemed strange to her that she'd get accepted onto one of the teams without having met the captain. As far as she was aware, most of them did 'research' from grades and notes of the professors and then they would meet the ones they were 'interested' in after.

_He must have put in a good word for me_. She'd have to remember to thank him when she saw him next- it would be nice to be on a team where she already knew someone. "I-if Rangiku-san wakes up... could you give her my regards, please?"

Her voice was so quiet he hadn't even been sure she'd spoken. She was scared to ask something like that- honestly, what was going on... Maybe one of the teachers had bullied her or something... she seemed uncertain of authority after all.

"Of course," he smiled lightly.

Shiori seemed to enjoy the heat a little more than he did, so he held in any remarks about it. In fact, she seemed a little more at ease outside, in the sunshine than she had inside. Her entire posture was more relaxed, and she no longer kept moving her zanpakuto around.

"You could carry your zanpakuto like me, you know," he frowned, staring at her intently. "It would be easier than moving it every five seconds."

Shiori flushed deeply. "He doesn't like it there," she frowned. "I tried to begin with b-but he protested and complained a whole lot," she sighed. "So I gave in and let him sit there."

Toshirou blinked in surprise- he knew she was able to communicate with it already but... to know that much, to speak with it so freely... It was a lot more than a lot of the vice-captains could even do. Hell, Kenpachi didn't even know his zanpakuto's name; Shiori's rate of growth was terrifying, even if it was expected. He sighed softly, recalling what Rangiku had said about how warm she'd been that day they'd met, and how cold he'd been when they met. Maybe it was something to it- it had been his zanpakuto's power slipping out then, perhaps it had been hers.

Hell, maybe she was subconsciously changing the weather now. It had been dreary and horrible until that day- it wasn't normal for weather to change so quickly here.

"Aren't you supposed to be the master?" he raised an eyebrow. Sure it was all about working together but... "If you can't move freely... it doesn't seem very fair."

Shiori pursed her lips out. "Cat's generally enjoy being in charge," she frowned. "And it's easier than having him be grouchy."

So it was a cat- like Matsumoto's. It was bossy, something Shiori didn't seem to be- or at the least, it was confident and knew how to state its wants and desires firmly and clearly without any area for hesitance or reluctance in agreeing. Usually the zanpakuto's resembled their masters... maybe this was different, or maybe it was more resembling how Shiori was inside.

Toshirou sighed softly, stopping outside of the more quieter compound. "Here," he stared at her intently; watching as she took everything in, watching people go and how they interacted with each other. "They won't bite," he sighed, casually leading the way in.

Shiori let out a light squeak and hurried after them, keeping her eyes down when she noticed the stares she got. Of course, she was the 'new girl' being escorted in by the captain of another team, of course they were interested! That didn't mean she enjoyed it at all...

"W-what kind of a man is Kuchiki-taichou?" she whispered shyly, wanting to find out any bit of information she could so she didn't insult him.

The captain sighed. "He's a noble, rich, prideful..." he frowned. "He has absolute respect for the rules, and some people view him as quite cold," he sighed. "He's not that bad really..." He'd never spent much time with him but... he could be pretty respectful at times.

Shiori nodded idly; a noble... rich... prideful. She probably didn't fit anywhere near him! Renji had probably pulled a lot of strings to get her there... "I don't feel like I fit in somehow..."

Toshirou frowned. "Sure you do... everyone feels like that at first but, as you get used to the flow of everything you'll find the niche you fit into," he raised an eyebrow at her, sighing. She seemed to be more withdrawn and panicky. "Shiori, calm down... you'll be fine- you and Abarai are friends, right?" he raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure he'll help you settle in."

He paused outside a smaller building in the centre of the small complex. Even if the buildings in squad six's area were much smaller, they were all obviously... well paid for. Toshirou sighed in annoyance- he hated nobles, he hated when they flaunted money but...

He knocked on the door hesitantly, he felt nervous himself.

It was silent on the other side for a few moments, before the door opened and a very tired Renji stood there. He stared at the captain for a few moments, then at the woman. His eyes slowly widened and she blushed and looked away.

_So he didn't know she was going to join the team_, Byakuya could be a sly fox..

"Unohana sent her to me to bring to you," Toshirou's eye twitched lightly wondering why she just couldn't have sent her straight here but.. "So I'll leave her in your care," he inclined his head towards both of them; leaving before either could mutter a word.

Renji stared intently at the woman. She looked sick and like she needed a good feeding but... she had matured too. Her face was less rounded and more defined, and she was almost his height now. "The Shihakusho looks good on you." He inwardly groaned- now it seemed like he was checking her out or something...

_Say something smart, fool!_

Shiori turned almost the same shade as his hair. "T-t-thank you... it's a little too big though... it was all Unohana-taichou had for me," she frowned, lifting her arm up and pouting softly when she sleeve completely covered her hand, with quite a large amount of material hanging off her. He hadn't even noticed how big it was before because it still looked small.

His eyes narrowed; he was going to make sure she ate right... she looked horrible! Unhealthy and... "When did you...?"

"Yesterday," she smiled lightly, peering through her bangs at him, chewing her lip for a few moments as she linked and unlinked her fingers. "I stayed at the fourth squad last night, Kuchiki-taichou was supposed to meet me but he was busy so she did... but then she was busy herself so couldn't bring me here herself."

Renji let out a slightly annoyed sigh. "If I had known you had graduated and were even joining this team I'd have come and met you, that's kind of my job too- Sorry."

Shiori stared at him in light surprise. "I thought you were the entire reason I was here."

He shook his head. "No... I didn't even know taichou had considered you, I mentioned you but he seemed... uninterested," he sighed, well, at least she seemed to be relaxing up. He stood aside, letting her into the office.

He could feel his captains attention. As far as he was aware, Byakuya hadn't ever met her. Even in Hueco Mundo the only time he'd seen her was when she was in Inoue's arms- after she'd tried to heal her but couldn't... He was obviously interested.

Pretty much the entire soul society was. Most of them knew who she was and what she had done- and most of those were curious about how she'd take to this life, what powers would she have... how strong would she be, how far would she 'go'?

He eyed up her zanpakuto, feeling quite nervous himself as he led her into where his captain sat. The room felt silent, and he moved away from the girl once she stood directly in front of Byakuya.

Shiori had to admit, it was obvious Byakuya was a noble. The way he held himself and his beauty... his eyes were an amazing colour, and she couldn't hold a gaze with him. When his eyes locked onto hers, she'd blushed and looked down at the floor.

She could almost hear his scrutiny as he took her in- too scrawny, cheap...

Byakuya smirked lightly- he could tell by Renji's stare that he was protective, ready to jump in and defend her, and he could tell by hers that she hoped no comments would be made that would cause need for that. The pair were quite opposite, but he didn't quite see what Renji saw.

She was pretty- but most women were. He couldn't say she was attractive, and he too noticed how ill she looked. Too skinny and too painfully shy. There was a certain... warmth to her though, he found himself wanting to know more about her.

He stared at the hilt on her side. "Your zanpakuto."

Shiori jumped at his voice; it was soft, deep and smooth and yet forceful... commanding at the same time. She stared a him curiously, what did he wish to know about it?

"Your... teachers were quite vague about it," his eyes narrowed. "They said you were quite... secretive about it."

Shiori mumbled for a few moments, trying to find her voice. "Gotokuneko doesn't really like attention," she hid within her hair, hoping he wouldn't scold her for that. "He's bossy and slightly grouchy if I wake him up," she blushed. "He hates the cold and the wet most though."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow; she already knew so much... Perhaps because she hadn't had anyone else to talk to? It would make sense, she was lonely so... she reached out to someone who would understand her. "Fire type, am I right?" the warmth of her reishi made sense suddenly.

Renji gulped, he could feel the shyness radiating off her, and he was at her side; he just... wanted to feed her and make sure she got a good night's sleep! He was even tempted to cart her over to fourth squad but... she'd stayed with Unohana all night, if she was sick she'd never have let her leave.

"Abarai," Byakuya sighed, turning back to his paperwork. "Show Mogami to her room, make sure she's fed... I expect her to begin her duties tomorrow."

Shiori stared at him dumbly, but was very thankful he seemed to... accept her and to not regret his choice in her. She sighed in relief when Renji pulled her out- he seemed eager to get her out too and both were silent as he led her along.

It took her about half the length of their journey to realise he'd taken her hand in his own. It didn't seem like a mistake because his grip was firm on hers... confident and sure. She found that she quite liked it. She smiled to herself, increasing her grip on his slightly and somewhat shyly as she stared up at him curiously.

She could have sworn she saw the faintest trace of blush on his cheeks.

_Probably imagining it._


	6. Six: Prisoner

Sorry it's been a while since I updated! Things have been hectic in real life so I haven't had the inspiration to really write anything.

Chapter Six

Shiori stared blankly at the dark sky above. It was about four am, and as usual for the past few weeks, she was unable to sleep. The first night inside the Seireitei, she'd slept pretty well- in fact she'd slept so well, Renji'd had to wake her up and it had taken him quite a while to do it. Every night since then, sleep... well...

It wasn't that it didn't come, but when it did the same dreams would happen. Nightmares. Night terrors.

The first night they'd happened she had been screaming so loud, half the team had come rushing to see if she was getting murdered or something. The following night she'd thrown herself around so much, a few members had to sit on her so she didn't hurt herself. She came out with a broken arm which was just about healing.

The third night she'd started sleep walking, and had ended up almost drowning in a pond in the Kuchiki's estate. The fourth, Renji had stayed with her, and her screams... well...

She let out an annoyed sigh, running her fingers through her hair. She was extremely tired, but... she couldn't bare to close her eyes. She didn't even understand it; the dream wasn't really scary and she knew it wasn't true, or going to come true.

The dream was the same every night. A woman in the middle of a room, looking almost dead as she laid upon the floor. Everything else was dark. After a few moments, a behemoth of a dragon would appear, sniff the woman, before opening it's mouth and inhaling. The screams usually started here; Shiori's, and the woman screaming. The dragon literally sucked out the woman's Reishi until she was left nothing. The dragon would then scoop her up into it's large jaws, and swallow her without chewing.

Only one thing changed each night, the figures in her dreams got closer each time. About a week into them, she'd identified the woman as Matsumoto. Of course it made no sense- Rangiku was still sick and in the hospital, but everyone knew Unohana would find some way to make her better. In fact, according to her, Rangiku was doing better and better each day and she'd probably open her eyes soon. No one was allowed in to see her, so no one really knew if that was true or not though Unohana had no reason to lie.

Shiori sighed softly, absently braiding a few strands of her hair. She'd decided it was simply easier not to sleep, but she was making herself quite ill. She'd tried sleeping pills- but that had made them worse and pretty much everything else Unohana suggested had the same effect.

She was sloppy with most of her work, Renji constantly had to make excuses for her. All she really did now was follow him around, holding things for him if he asked for it. He seemed to be the only one not annoyed by her sudden incompetence.

If she could just find the reason's behind the dreams... it would have been so much easier!

"Not sleeping again?"

Shiori pursed her lips, sighing when the red head sat beside her.

"I figured it best if I don't- I wake everyone else up so..."

"One tired person is better than a whole team?" Renji shook his head, staring at her sadly as he pressed a cup of tea into her hands. "You're freezing, drink."

She was pale and sickly looking. She had no energy to really eat and she was slow and sluggish. No one knew how to help, so everyone let it be. No one would listen to his idea. The dreams involved Rangiku and he had no doubt in her belief she would get better, but...

She had once, and still was, part hollow. Maybe she was... responding to something within the attack she'd suffered. Unohana said there wasn't even a bruise- just the two puncture marks remained and they were more like scars now than actual wounds.

Renji let out a disgruntled sigh. His idea had been to send her down to Aizen, seeing him... speaking to him might unlock her memories; as much as everyone, including him, wanted to avoid it- after all, she was happy now. Or had been anyway. She would probably die if she went on like this- he didn't understand why no one listened to him.

If she got her memories back, she might be able to understand the dream herself. If it was something with those 'new' hollows, she might have been able to... figure it out or...!

"I really think you should try to get some rest," he murmured, watching her intently. She brought the cup to her lips and sipped, before turning the mug twice and holding it in her lap. She would do it all the time, her strange little quirk. He smirked softly.

Just like when she'd think too hard and she'd stick her tongue out a little.

Maybe he was too obsessed and noticed too much of her. It wasn't healthy, especially when she didn't give him the same attention back. He told himself it was all because she was tired and not herself, if she was...

_Oh of course she wouldn't be interested in you, fool._

She probably wanted someone tall and extremely handsome. Like Byakuya or something.

"Maybe if you gag me while I sleep it could work, something to muffle the screams- a pillow over the face," she joked.

Renji stared at her dryly. "That's not very funny."

"I know, but there's not much else- a soundproof room just for me?" She shook her head. "I was maybe... wondering if I could stay with Hanabi-san or something, it's out of the way and I might be able to sleep a whole night."

Renji flinched, of course she didn't... "Hanabi went missing," he muttered. "I meant to tell you, but..."

"Missing?" her eyes were wide and she sat up stiffly, staring at him intently. "When? Who...?"

"Middle of last week, we don't know who," he sighed. "All her furniture is left, all her clothes and belongings- minus a few things which belonged to her brother." He glanced at her cautiously. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't guilty of purposely trying to get her to remember. Mentioning Urahara, Yoruichi and Shinji quite frequently, but her eyes would glaze over for a few moments and nothing else would happen.

"Was she kidnapped?"

"There's no sign of a struggle," he frowned. "No one even heard raised voices or anything, it's strange. There isn't even any Reishi, but, like with the other hollows... they didn't leave much behind either."

Shiori sighed. First Rangiku, and now her friend had gone missing. Was it her those hollow's wanted? Shortly after they'd appeared, there had been a rush for her to join the academy and become a Shinigami. There had been all that hush hush, and she was forbidden from working with any information about the attack.

Well, not so much forbidden, but if she tried to do any work on it... it was always handed off to someone else. She was starting to think it was a conspiracy.

"Look, don't worry," he frowned; he wasn't very good at pep talks but... she looked so sad and... He gulped, feeling a rather large lump build in his throat. Moonlight night, alone... it was a perfect and rather romantic setting really...

He shifted closer to her, shrugging off his haori and draping it over her shoulders. "You're freezing," he added as explanation. A triumphant smirk spread over his lips when she blushed furiously, peering from under her bangs as she snuggled within the fabric.

Maybe he did have a chance.

"Shiori, there's something I want to..." he stared down at her intently; gulping. Her eyes really were the most beautiful colour... He moved closer, hand taking her free hand and squeezing softly. She didn't seem to pull away, she didn't look ready to slap him and she didn't even look half asleep.

Could he... get away with kissing her? Maybe she would kiss back.

Rukia, Ikkaku and Yumichika had kept daring him to do it- telling him to not be such a chicken and to be a man about it- tell her how he felt. Show her even, give her no space to reject him. He didn't want to rush her, and she wasn't in the best condition... he'd wanted to wait until she was better, but...

Now was the perfect time, he probably wouldn't get too many more situations like this.

Just them.

"Yes, Renji?" Her breath turned into steam in the cold air and her nose was turning a soft red. She'd not even noticed that it had turned into Winter. Perhaps she'd have to start bundling up warmer when she came out at night in future.

"I..." he lent closer. He could do it- if he was lucky, she'd forget and they could be just friends... with no awkwardness. If he was unlucky, she'd hate him. And if he was extremely fortunate... she'd kiss him back.

"Shiori-"

"Mogami-san."

Renji stiffened when their tall captain walked over to them, flanked by Soifon and—to his surprise, Yoruichi and Shinji. He stared at them half confused, and half angry. It wasn't right- usually Yoruichi should have teased him about what they were interrupting, and his captain would have perhaps ridiculed it, but... there was no humour.

"What's going on?" He was cautious at an instant.

"It is not for you to know, Abarai," Byakuya said simply, staring intently at the girl. "Mogami-san, please come with us. There is someone we want you to meet."

"O-okay..." she gulped, putting the cup back down and offering the haori back to the vice-captain.

He pushed it back towards her. He understood what was going on and where she was going. He may never see her again if things went badly and... "Give it back in the morning, huh?"

Yoruichi scowled, he was too optimistic!

Shiori shifted uncomfortably. The whole atmosphere was intense, even Gotokuneko didn't like it much- and he was as laid back as anyone got. Maybe he was just tense from the cold, but...

She sighed, absently trudging after the group. She knew her captain and Soifon of course, but the other two were enigmas to her. She could have sworn she knew them though, in the back of her mind she could almost hear their names but...

"I am Shihouin Yoruichi," she murmured. "This is Hirako Shinji."

Shiori's eyes widened somewhat. "Hirako?"

Shinji nodded stiffly; he didn't like this idea one bit but... she did look awful. Perhaps it would all work out well, but, no one seemed very hopeful. "Hanabi was my older sister," he said simply.

"Oh, well... I guess you do look similar," she murmured. Perhaps that was why he seemed familiar, as for Yoruichi... She eyed the woman suspiciously. "Um.. Kuchiki-taichou, Soifon-taichou, can I ask where we're going...?"

Soifon let out a disgruntled sigh. "We're heading down into the deep containment blocks," she didn't sound happy about it. She let out a chuckle at her face. "You're not being arrested."

"As I said before," Byakuya added, not looking at all amused that Shiori thought she was being locked up. "There's someone we want you to meet."

"A prisoner...?"

"Yes," Yoruichi frowned. "He's... important. He might be able to... solve some of what is going on."

"So why do I have to meet him?"

Shiori frowned at the sudden silence. She didn't like what was going on at all! These people that she didn't know, but was sure she did know... Leading her down into a... 'deep containment' prison. It was all too... secret. She frowned, absently holding the haori around her tighter; she wished Renji could have come. She'd have felt more at ease if he were there...

"Relax a little," Yoruichi uttered, sighing as the door squeaked open, echoing within the halls. There was only one prisoner down here, and each of them could hear him stiffen at the sound. Yoruichi looked away from the girl, she wanted to tell her that everything would be okay but... there was a chance they would have to kill her or lock her up.

Shiori sighed when they stopped in front of the only cell in the block; there was no light on but she could just about make out his face. He was almost completely bound, apart from his eyes and his mouth. What had this person done to... deserve this?

The prisoners eyes widened for mere seconds, before his lips turned up into a smirk. "Shiori-kun, my, that shihakusho does quite suit you."

Shiori's breath hitched in her throat; she knew that voice. "How do you know my name?"

He tutted, chuckling deeply. "I think I should ask you how do you not remember me, hm?" he sighed, soul society no doubt had... terrified of her. He chuckled at the idea. "We were partners of sorts once after all."


	7. Seven: Ulquiorra?

_I apologise how short this is, and how... abrupt the end is. I lack inspiration for this and pretty much forced myself to write this much, sorry!_

Chapter seven

The silence that sat within the prison block halls were eerie, but Shiori refused to disturb it. She was sat the other side of... the 'prisoners' cell, staring at him intently; trying to decide whether the things that had been explained to her were true.

It sure sounded like it should be true. It felt like it should- it all felt familiar to her, but, she couldn't be sure. It was just all too... out of this world. Then again, she had never believed in spirits and things like 'reishi' before, yet that was all obviously quite real.

It felt like she did know this man, and knew him well too. There was something... comforting to her about his voice or even staring into his eyes. It was like greeting an old friend- one you'd had a crush on but kept it silent. It was warm and made her feel at ease.

Maybe that was bad, he was locked up; and if what they'd said was true... her memory had been erased to.. erase any 'allegiances' she had with him.

She let out a sigh and sat back against the wall. Something nagged at her in the back of her mind- memories perhaps?

"Why choose now to tell me this anyway?"

Yoruichi shifted, looking quite guilty. "Rangiku is getting worse," she frowned. "And we don't know anything about the hollow's that attacked her- we thought perhaps Aizen would know something."

"Ah, this is the first time I've-" he shut up when she glared at him. Honestly, she had 'asked him' about them.

"So why did I have to know?"

Shinji sighed. "There is a chance they're after you, they've been in the human world after Ichigo too- and us, they're curious about us and about you and Ichigo."

"Because I'm... part hollow?"

"Yes, or, that's what we believe anyway," Yoruichi frowned. "When you blanked out that day at the academy, and a few times since that you don't remember. You became... like this in a different way to Ichigo- we think these hollow's want to know more about..."

"Hybrids," Aizen suggested. He didn't want to help, but he knew he had no choice. He was curious too anyway. "To answer what you came here for, I've never met these hollows and I couldn't tell you anything without meeting them."

"But Shiori might be able to," Soifon frowned. "Gin and Tousen are both gone, Shiori is the only one left. We went to Hueco Mundo and asked Neliel Tu about it, but she had no clue about them either."

Shiori stiffened at the name, only two people really noticed.

"I don't see how," Aizen shrugged as best he could within his binds. "She was confined to Las Noches most of the time, there's a chance she may have met them to make a... pact with them when she wanted revenge against me," he chuckled. "But I don't think so- you might want to help her too."

Both women and Shinji turned to stare at her. Byakuya had been watching impassively since she'd stiffened up and brought her knees to her chest. Now she clutched her head and seemed to be having issues breathing.

"Shiori?" Shinji knelt beside her, frowning more. "Should we take her to Unohana?"

"No," Byakuya sighed, closing his eyes. Renji would never forgive him if she got sick, but... "She reacted to the mention of Neliel Tu Oderschvank. According to Kurosaki and Abarai, she had quite the bond with her."

Aizen shook his head. "Of course she did, Nel saved her life and showed her that she could fight without being a monster," he chuckled, muttering when they just glared at him. He was trying to help and yet...! Still, it was quite amusing. These hollows had taken out a vice-captain quite easily... maybe they could take down soul society.

"Perhaps meeting Neliel might help," Yoruichi frowned. "If it gets her memories out."

"We have clearance from Sou-taichou to do what we need to," Soifon said simply. "Taking her to Hueco Mundo isn't going to hurt- it might be... better."

"You mean if she decides to turn against us?" Byakuya did feel quite... protective all of a sudden. She was one of Rukia's only remaining friends, if she lost another... Plus, Abarai would never forgive him if they had to kill her, or she turned into an enemy.

Shinji lifted the girl into his arms instantly. "Let's go then."

–

Hueco Mundo still looked the same as it had before. It was a vast, empty, dark desert. The only difference was the absence of the great fortress in the middle. Shiori could easily remember how it should have looked, but that seemed to be as far as her memory stretched.

She had a horrible headache and felt quite sick ever since they'd arrived here- and with no 'Nel' to be found, they were left figuring out where to go.

It was all so familiar to her! She knew why it was, this had been her... 'home' or... perhaps prison once before. She wished she could remember more clearly, especially if it'd help 'save' Rangiku. She meant so much to so many people... if she died because she wasn't good enough-

"Which way do we go? There's no hint of... anything."

Shiori bit her lip, staring intently at the blonde, before heading off in one direction. She didn't even know where she was going- she just.. felt a pull there. The others questioned her, but she kept silent and carried on walking.

She longed to go back in time a few hours so this would never happen. That moment with Renji had been... so nice, and now this... and there was a chance she'd never go back to him. She knew that.

Still... she could feel someone. The others seemed oblivious to feeling anyone but... she could...! If it was 'Nel' surely they'd have taken off after it instantly. It felt like someone she knew, that much was sure, but...

Who was it? She thought deeply. She could remember faces the closer to the reishi she came, she could remember their names, and their voices. Their scents, their attitudes.

"Ulquiorra..."

Yoruichi froze as she suddenly took off uttering the name. "Ichigo killed him..." But now she concentrated, she could too feel the hollow. "It's not possible that Ulquiorra is fine..." what if all the other Espada were okay too? They'd barely beaten them before and it was mostly due to Ichigo, now they had this...

And the other downside, was that she knew Shiori liked Ulquiorra. Would they have to kill her now? What if he protected her?

"I'm starting to regret bringing her here."

Shinji smirked, though it was half hearted. "I think everything will work out." Fate wasn't that cruel, was it? He supposed it could be... but...

Shiori stared dumbly at the four people in front of her. The others stopped behind her, muttering all sorts of confusions. There were two men, and two women. They were sat around some makeshift table, seemingly drinking tea like some sort of tea party. All the china was pink, and seemed to belong to one of the women.

The tallest man stood up, slamming his hands down onto the table. His blue hair went to his waist and he looked pretty livid. "I am sick of drinking out of these cups like some baby!"

"Oh relax," the older woman chided softly. "It's quite rude to cause a fuss when we have guests."

The two women Shiori recognised instantly, and a low growl echoed within her throat.

"What did you do to Rangiku? How do we make her better?" And why did they... feel like- the older male felt like Grimmjow, the other male who sat there simply felt like Ulquiorra. The oldest woman wasn't so different from Halibel and the younger felt like some mix of Nnoitra and Szyael.

"Ah, she hasn't died yet?" the youngest girls eyes lit up. "She's stronger than I thought she is! Neesan, can I go back and kill her?"

Yoruichi grabbed Shiori before she could pounce on them. She'd never seen her so riled up and Angry. So... these 'four' were the hollows they were hunting then. The two women being the ones who attacked Rangiku.

_Well,_ she thought dully, _at least there's solace in the fact there's only four of them._

It didn't comfort her as much as she'd intended it.

"Shiori-kun," the older woman smiled. "Relax a little, we're not going to hurt you or your friends- in fact if you help us, we'll make your 'Rangiku' better."

The youngest whined. "No fair!"

"Eh, Tiffany, you shouldn't lie," the older male scoffed, his voice deep and it rumbled within his chest. "You know very well what happens now."

"Yes, Hiro, I know what happens; it's called lowering 'ones guard', you should try something tactical for once. Even Suni has more brains than you!"

The other man sighed and stood up; walking in front of the others. "Shinigami."

Shiori froze; his voice was almost identical to Ulquiorra's. But... but he had died! Ichigo had killed him... Aizen had told her that, Yoruichi had confirmed it!

"What are you?"

He smirked lightly, hands idly shoved within his pockets. "Yes, perhaps it's strange- I do quite resemble him don't I? I suppose it doesn't hurt to explain."

"Naoki!" Tiffany hissed.

"When Espada die, because they are altered like you were- their.. reishi do not quite fit in elsewhere within Hueco Mundo. If their particle's are consumed by other hollows, they transform. Or you could be like Suni, she's what happens when two different Espada's get consumed by the same being."

"I don't understand."

Byakuya frowned; he did, and they all knew how silly it would be to fight them. Hollows evolved by consuming each other. Consuming Espada didn't create stronger Espada, it created a new breed of hollow's completely. He'd not felt them before but... their reishi was strange. Bubbling, as if all their power was there briefly, then popped and disappeared for a few moments before coming back.

But they were strong, he could feel that. They'd had a hard enough time defeating them previously and they'd not evolved as much as these hollows.

"You don't need to," Naoki smirked softly. "I have all of Ulquiorra's memories, but not his feelings. We're different people, we don't even have the same personalities." He chuckled. "Still you find it hard to even fathom hurting me- isn't that right, Onna?"

Shiori's eyes widened more. She barely remembered anything, but Ulquiorra... she could remember that clearly. Him, how he'd... protected her in his own way. How she'd used him as some sort of shield, and how she enjoyed sitting in his silent presence.

"Why tell him that?" Little Suni's voice was deceptively sweet, and she peered at them with large eye lashes.

"Well... I suppose it doesn't matter," Tiffany sighed. "They have to die anyway, it's only the girl we need."


	8. Eight: Traitor!

Chapter Eight

If sacrificing one person saves others, then by all means the sacrifice should be made. One life is trivial to the other lives that would be at steak. One person is not worth a hundred more. Shiori understood that. That was why they'd brought her here- the idea Nel could bring her memories back... why not bring Nel to them?

It was because if she turned out to be a threat, she could hurt less people in the middle of some crazy desert, rather than the middle of soul society. Her friends, Renji and the others wouldn't have to watch as she was killed or imprisoned, and wouldn't have to aid the others.

So why was it like this?

The shinigami with her; the four.. Soifon, Yoruichi, Shinji and Byakuya- why were they fighting? The hollows had said simply if they handed her over, the others could be free to leave. Why not sacrifice her? They were obviously strong...

Shiori let out a pained cry when she watched her 'friends' all but lose in front of her. She wanted to help, but she had no idea how. She held her zanpakuto firmly in her hands and her arms shook fiercely up to her shoulders. She'd never fought anyone before, not consciously anyway; and if she did have that inner hollow...

She didn't want it to come out; she didn't want to hurt her friends.

Her jaw clenched tightly; she wanted some way to help... but her kidou was weak and she was rooted to the ground in fear. Even her zanpakuto was silent.

She frowned somewhat when 'Naoki' stood in front of her, gaze impassive. He was so like Ulquiorra. She almost relaxed in front of him at the idea but, this wasn't him! They were different people. `Ulquiorra is dead...` just because this one had his memories didn't make them the same person!

"You'd best not fight it," he said slowly; hand outstretching towards her. He found himself at somewhat of an impasse with her. She was the tool their leader needed for their plans, she was a scared little girl who had no clue; and barely any memories. She was ultimately useless, and would be disposed of soon.

Yet his memories played him up. Even if he didn't feel the same as his former being used to... he could remember how he saw her. Ulquiorra's way of seeing people was all the same and this girl wasn't much different; but it was different enough.

And he could see her death; and feel the hopelessness Ulquiorra had felt watching her die. He'd wanted to help, but hadn't; he had scolded himself on numerous times that any sort of bond with her was foolish; but he couldn't help but be gentle with her.

It wouldn't have phased him but the hopeless, terrified look on her face as she stood there. He felt almost bad. "Onna," his voice was deep. "Their lives will be spared if you just... come along." He'd reached out with the intention of grabbing her, but now he held his hand out in offer. It reminded him of the choice he'd once given Inoue Orihime. Given her a choice where she only had one option due to her nature.

"You won't kill them?" She took a deep breath; she'd not realised she'd held her breath and her lungs burned as they greedily sucked in the precious air.

"No."

Shiori bit her lip hesitantly and slowly sheathed her weapon. Her life was not important; if these four survived they could go back and tell the rest of soul society what they had learned. Her life in this was trivial!

"Promise me."

Naoki sighed softly. "I promise you."

Shiori nodded and extended her hand towards his. Wasn't this the second time she wouldn't get to say goodbye to someone important to her? Her eyes watered up at the thought; they'd almost kissed too! She supposed it didn't matter; he'd get over her and find someone else. She wasn't special anyway; there were other girls, more talented, prettier... smarter than her.

She sighed, eyes closing as her hand clasped around his. She should have died months ago anyway; giving her life for someone she cared for, that wasn't a bad thing.

"Shiori-chan."

Her eyes shot open, staring intently at the taller woman in front of her. She held onto her warm hand firmly, and was unable to keep the large smile from spreading over her features as she took her in. Oh how she remembered her!

Her warmth was the same, and her voice... her scent. She looked happier though, all things considering.

"N-Nel-sama."

Neliel grinned somewhat, her blue hair falling over her shoulder as she pulled the girl against her chest, hugging her tightly. "I'm so happy to see you! You're so skinny," she pouted, practically poking her side. She giggled, letting her go eventually so she could breathe.

"Nel-sama..."

Shiori felt relief. It was selfish, she knew that. Having this woman here was just another who would die to protect her for some unknown reason! But she felt happy; even if she couldn't say goodbye to him, she could say goodbye to her! She wouldn't even mind dying if it was with her.

"Neliel."

Nel's expression turned from happy and open, to cold and serious in a moment as she glanced back at the 'former Espada.'

"I'm not sure how to greet you," she said coldly. "Imposter might fit."

Naoki blinked, arm falling back to his side. "I'm not an imposter. Do you intend to fight?"

Nel glared at him, standing fully in front of the young girl. She'd failed to protect her before... but she'd give her life for her now! "There's four of you," she said slowly. "Seven of us."

Shiori hadn't even noticed Pesche and Dondochakka joining them; but it was true, and the fighting seemed to be going in their favour now!

"I see..." Naoki sounded more bored than anything, perhaps a little annoyed.

To Shiori, minutes seemed to pass. It only must have been a few seconds, but he eventually broke their gaze and turned around; hands shoved idly into his pockets.

Nel blinked in surprise, but she never let her guard go. She watched him carefully until he stopped and let out a lengthy sigh.

Shiori loved Nel; he could see that from 'his' memories. There were only a few shinigami she had a bond with and none of them were here. But Nel, if they hurt her... Shiori would never go with them. She'd want to fight them, she'd want revenge and her hollow side would come out.

They would have no choice but to fight her, and she would likely end up dying. They needed her alive! He felt frustrated; there had been no sign of Neliel before, they'd been careful to make sure of that...

"I feel like there should be parting words," he said briefly, frowning as the other free came to his side- looking very frustrated and somewhat glaring more at Nel. "You really need to learn who to trust better," he stared at Shiori, then his eyes brushed Shinji- then they were gone.

The shinigami stood there, staring stupidly at the place the others had been. They were leaving just like that? It was true the numbers were in their favour now, but...

"This is odd," Soifon sighed half in annoyance.

"Neliel," Yoruichi shook her head. "We tried finding you."

"I'm sorry," the former third smiled. "I had to... stay away. I'm not nearly half as strong as them, I know they would have killed me if we'd met and I was alone," she sighed. She felt so troubled about this! "They're easily counter able... alone they're no real threat and to be honest, it's the little girl who's the trouble."

"W-what do you mean?"

"Just that. She can paralyse you, she can paralyse any amount of people for an indifferent amount of time, and her attacks come slowly but always hit." She sighed. "You don't even see her attack and you won't notice it for a few days-"

"Like Rangiku," Soifon concluded.

Shinji frowned; the way the hollow had stared at him... not curious, but a warning. He barely even heard the other conversation going on. He knew no one in the human world was a threat; there was no one 'new' there... and no one who'd have a vendetta to work with the hollows.

Or maybe his words about trust... had been to create and cause doubt.

Perhaps it was Aizen; he was saying 'don't trust the fact he says he knows nothing.'

No, that wasn't right. Aizen liked to play games and watch things unfold; if he knew, he'd have told them. Shiori was... oblivious to everything until a few hours ago... plus there was no way she'd have gotten in contact with them recently.

Nel frowned somewhat. "You are Hirako Shinji, right?" She stood in front of him, though she clutched Shiori's hand tight, keeping her at her side- as close as possible. They weren't' safe here and...

"How do you...? I mean, we've never met."

Nel smiled. "It's true there's only four of them, but they're not the... brains behind everything. Until recently they were impassive and had no desire to fight or anything," she sighed. "They received a visit shortly after they were... born, a few days before the attack in soul society."

"A visit?" Yoruichi frowned. Byakuya's eyes narrowed, and Soifon muttered in annoyance.

"She wasn't a shinigami, but she was covered in the reishi from soul society," Nel looked reluctant to say anything, but... "I met her once before, shortly after Aizen came here. She was... in love with him, and couldn't see that he wasn't interested in her at all."

Shinji's eyes widened. It... wasn't possible.

Byakuya blinked; the other's seemed to know who she was talking about- minus Shiori anyway. Aizen had a lover once upon a time? He supposed it wasn't strange, but...

"Hanabi..."

Shiori bit her lip. "Hanabi?" Hanabi had been... working with them? "But I don't see... I mean... I don't get it."

Nel sighed. "I don't know her goal; perhaps it is Aizen, but she's not fool enough to attack Soul society head on. But hollows like this she could make an allegiance with, but there's not many of them. I know of two others, but they won't work with her; I doubt they would help us either though."

"So where does Shiori fit in? And Ichigo?" Shinji frowned. "She wants hybrids, right? So us too?"

"I don't know," Nel admitted sadly. "If Arrancar were enough against soul society, I would have thought Aizen would have succeeded."

"More questions," Soifon muttered. "I don't think talking here is the best idea."

"I agree," Byakuya murmured. "We should have returned a while ago, we can figure everything out back there. Kurotsuchi might have an idea, Urahara Kisuke..."

"Aizen too," Yoruichi added. "I don't like trusting him but..."

Shiori sighed; she felt incredibly dizzy. And now she'd go back.. with her memories, back to Renji. Things weren't going to be the same were they? He'd kept this whole thing a secret from her. For her own good but, at the same time... She somewhat wished they'd not... forced her to become a shinigami. It was more fighting...


	9. Nine: Melancholy

Ah~ It's awfully short, I apologise! But I might start on my new fic instead~!

Chapter Nine

And that was when things started to go terribly wrong.

Soul society set it's self up to 'capture' Hanabi, but by the time they'd gotten to her house, she'd already left. With no traces of her at all. At the same time, Rangiku's condition also got worse and Unohana spent all her time with her; keeping her alive.

And then there were the hollows appearing in the rukongai. Teams were having to send the majority of their forces out to protect the seireitei from the outside. There weren't many people left inside at all- once they disposed of one set of hollows, more would appear.

Plus there was no progress on any of the information Nel had given the Shinigami. She stayed with them, telling them everything she'd known and then had returned to Hueco Mundo. No one had heard from her since.

And Shiori... well, she had seen better days. She hadn't slept in days, and her mind was constantly occupied. She only spoke to three people; Hitsugaya Toshirou- who had been surprised at her memory and apologetic to 'subjecting' her to this, Kurotsuchi Mayuri- though she wasn't given much choice in that matter; and, to everyone's surprise, Zaraki Kenpachi.

She found a strange sense of solace with him; he didn't ask questions, he didn't constantly make sure she was okay. He didn't bat an eyelid if she just wanted to train, or focus herself on sparring with his team members.

That was all anyone else ever did- make sure she was okay, ask her questions, apologise to her. Oh Renji was all about the apologies. The 'I'm sorry I should have told you's, the 'I'm sorry I shouldn't have let them make you become a shinigami.'

She thought about forgiving him every time but then she would remember. She disdained fighting, violence for the sake of peace- was it really progress or was it just a way to validate war? Either way, all she found herself doing the recent days was fighting. Sparring really but, it was the same thing.

Because, even though she hated it; part of her was a hollow, and it yearned to fight. They'd tried to get Shinji to train her to... work with it so she wouldn't be a 'threat', but she'd not taken in anything. Shiori knew they saw her as a threat, and she did too.

That was why she wouldn't forgive him. If she lost control and he was near- hadn't she almost killed someone at the Academy? If it was him next...

So far there had only been one incident with her hollow side since- though Hitsugaya and Kenpachi had stopped her before she could do anything. That was when Kurotsuchi was involved- for everyone's safety, until she could... control it... she was to be under his scrutiny.

Control it. How was anyone supposed to know if she'd done that or not? Ichigo had control over his, he was able to.. use it's power, without it taking over him. She didn't know how to get there- the only thing she could do was constantly train, but if she tried to will her hollow side out, nothing would happen.

_Though_, she thought bitterly as she sipped her tea. _I have more control over my zanpakuto now..._

She understood it's power fully, and she hated it. It was non-violent. And there she was, contradicting herself again. She hated violence, surely a peaceful zanpakuto like hers suited her well? But, what good was peaceful when she needed something to fight against a part of herself?

She had no clue where to start.

"Shiori."

"Ah.." she sighed, biting her lip as she turned away from the red head.

Renji stared at her sadly. It would be easier to give up- she wasn't going to forgive him any time soon, for good reason too, he supposed; but... he had to try.

"I bought you some food," he stared at her, putting the nikumen down beside her. He tried not to laugh when she had to stop herself from eating. "Do you need more tea?"

Shiori tutted, she didn't want to speak to him! "Stop it... being my slave isn't going to make this easier."

"But I made you talk to me."

Shiori tutted again, letting out an annoyed sigh. Why was he trying so hard? Didn't he see her as dangerous too?

"Aw jeez..." he sighed. "Look... I know what I did wasn't fair on you- or rather what I didn't do, but... Shiori.. I'm trying and you're not giving me anything!"

Shiori sighed. "What is there to give, Renji?" she frowned. "I should be dead right now, and I'm not... instead I'm a threat to the lot of you. It takes two captains to restrain me, Renji, two!"

Renji shrugged and sat down. He hadn't thought her issue would be that but, now he thought about it, it seemed a very 'Shiori thing' to worry about. "Then I'll get stronger so I can help you control it... Ichigo did it."

"Ichigo had help..."

"So do you," he stared at her softly. "You know that Shinji guy has been coming every other day to see how you're getting on," he frowned. "I overheard my captain talking, Shinji thinks you can't manage it here because there's too much of.. our reishi getting in the way."

Shiori sighed. "What am I supposed to do about that?"

"Go to the human world," he shook his head, laughing a little. Sometimes, she was clueless! "No one likes seeing you like this... what do you think Rangiku would do if she knew?"

"Before or after she tried to smother me?"

He grinned.

"Fine..." she sighed. "But... I don't want to go alone," she clenched her hands somewhat in her lap. "I know.. Shinji and his friends will be there, but... I finally got my memories back and I can't enjoy them.. I... I know it's selfish, but..."

"It's not selfish," he sighed. It was true he would be needed at some point to fight those hollows but... "I might be able to go with you for a week."

"A week?"

Renji smirked. "Don't think you're up to learning it in a week?" He grinned when she growled. For someone who hated fighting, she was sure competitive. Still, was she going to ignore their almost kiss? She hadn't mentioned it, nor did she look like she even remembered it... "Shiori, I have something-"

"Thank you," she smiled, cutting him off. "For being so annoyingly persistent..." she lent over and kissed his cheek shyly. Her cheeks lit the same colour as his hair for a few moments, before she stood up. "So is it true Ichigo lost his powers?"

Renji blinked a few times. "Um.. yes." Though he wasn't entirely sure he'd even heard the question. Perhaps he'd just answered yes to selling his soul to her. Not exactly a bad thing to do though, not if it was her.


	10. Ten: A Game

_Switching back to first person I think. I seem to be able to write better like it, plus I find it easier to write... I get more motivation.. However I am hoping to end this series sometime soon because it's not as good as when it started really. I'm tired of Shiori._

Chapter ten

The human world, ah, it almost seemed like I had never been here before. It was all foreign. I was astounded at myself for that fact, but I suppose it was only natural; it had been almost a year since I'd first become a... spirit. Since I'd first met Aizen.

Oh how different my life could have been now if I hadn't have moved back here. If my mother hadn't died...

Shinji and his blonde haired friend, Hiyori, were waiting for us when we arrived. She seemed displeased but Shinji was welcoming- though he seemed increasingly quiet. That was to be expected I suppose, finding out your sister is a traitor...

"What is **he** doing here?" Hiyori shot at Renji, folding her arms over her chest and muttering.

Renji glared at her. "I came for support."

"Peh! She doesn't need support, you'll get in the way and die; that's how it is! The only thing she can count on in this is herself!"

"You're quite the pessimistic and violent ape, aren't you?" I cocked an eyebrow at her, smirking when she stiffened and glared.

"W-what was that?"

Shinji sighed in annoyance and rubbed the back of his head. "Come on, lets just get this started." He shifted, turning to look back at us as we walked. "I suppose there's a time period, soul society can't hold out forever. What is it? A few weeks? A month...?"

"A week," Renji and I answered together.

"A week?" He sighed, growling. "That's impossible... Shiori, no offence, but... you didn't pick any of this up last time, how do you intend to master it in a week?"

"Perhaps then, we should spend less time talking and more time training?"

Perhaps it was rude to say it like that, but I was anxious to begin. My memories were clear to me now too; I suppose I missed the ability to read minds a little but, I did miss the ability Aizen had... 'enabled' me to use. Perhaps I would be able to use it now, or at least after my hollow side was... contained. Still, I didn't quite understand. I had the hollow side from what Aizen had done? My powers back then were akin to a hollow, so I suppose they just couldn't 'erase' what he'd done when they... 'restored my soul'.

To be honest, I do rather wish they had left me dead.

Having a second chance is nice and all, and I am enjoying being able to... have a proper friendship with Renji and Nel, but all this violence. I wish I wasn't a part of all of it. My friends would get hurt in front of my eyes, and there would be nothing I could do.

I had said this to Kenpachi once, he'd called me 'weak' in response; I suppose he was true. Shinigami risked their lives to protect others, that was the whole point. They were going to get hurt at some point, and looking away or not wanting to see their pain... it was selfish, and disrespectful. That was what I liked about Kenpachi, he didn't give things to me in half doses. He didn't treat me like I was fragile. He wasn't scared of me. Even Renji was cautious around me, cautious never to make me too angry, cautious to make sure I ate and slept properly, he always had an eye on me.

I wonder if he volunteered or if he'd been forced into it.

There was the fact we'd almost kissed, and I had kissed his cheek but, nothing since then. Perhaps I should bring it up at some point- though how I didn't know, I was inexperienced when it came to this kind of thing.

"Shinji," I said at length when I realised the other two had broken apart and were fighting behind us as he continued to walk.

"Hm?"

"Why is Hanabi...?" I frowned. "I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it, but I don't understand. I know how the feel for revenge is, where you would use anyone or give up anything, but..."

"If it was pure revenge she would be trying harder, I know," he frowned. "I thought maybe she wants to free Aizen, so she can get her revenge but... If she was truly motivated by that, she'd have gotten to him by now. Likewise, if she was motivated to free him because she still loved him..." His shoulders slumped and he sighed a little. "I don't know why she's doing this," he pursed his lips for a few moments. "What is your opinion on it?"

"Didn't I just ask you because I didn't know?"

"Yes, but... knowing and having an opinion are different," he smiled. "I'm sure everyone has a theory, even if you don't know her past... you knew her once, right? Kind, soft, beautiful and motherly..."

"Her smile has always been sincere to me," I whispered, frowning. "It always reached her eyes, she never faked any happiness she felt; not when I was there anyway. I don't think it's revenge, I..."

"You?" He stared at me intently, willing me to say it. Why was he so curious what I thought? Or maybe it was what everyone felt... he wanted to consider every option- so he could understand and 'save' her? Perhaps.

"I think that maybe... some people don't fight because they want to protect, rescue or exact revenge; some people don't fight for fightings sake because they enjoy it," I sighed softly. "Some people just want to see the world burn, they want the destruction, they enjoy the game."

"It doesn't seem like her."

"It didn't seem like Aizen to a lot of people either," I interjected. "She has no other reason to, and living with all that hate for years... hate for him breaking her heart, hate for him for causing you to be exiled- separating you, hate for not being a shinigami herself, hate for having to look after 'special souls', hate because he left her and didn't come back for her... That's a lot for one person to feel, if she didn't want to see everything destroyed, I would be surprised."

"I suppose that makes sense."

"I... somewhat I understand how she feels, if I'm honest," I admitted, voice going small. "I hate soul society for this, I wish they had left me dead. I understand why they did this, and... I am thankful to have a second chance for everything I couldn't have before but, to be thrust upon all this fighting. If they'd at least let me keep my memories... Sometimes I think it wouldn't be so bad if soul society just... fell apart."

Shinji sighed. "They were scared what you would do if you had your memories."

"They were scared of me getting them back anyway, and now they're scared of me because I can't control this hollow side of me," I grumbled a little, I felt so aggravated at myself too. "I don't understand why I even... I mean, you and the others, and Ichigo too- you went through hollowfication while you were shinigamis. I didn't, I was a normal human spirit and... what happened to me..."

"Wasn't complete hollowfication," he nodded. "But it doesn't have to... finish for it to leave it's effects on you."

I wanted to say more, but I didn't. It was just, sometimes- the very rare times my hollow side did 'come out', it always felt familiar to me. Like I should know it and greet it like an old friend I'd not seen in a long time. It never seemed intent on even trying either- the times it broke free were the times I got too angry and I wanted to stand up for myself.

It acted on self defence.

And slowly, it dawned on me. "Oh... I get it."

"Get what?" Renji grumbled, rubbing the lump on his forehead. Hiyori had hit him too hard, and she was looking quite smug.

"I'm not like Shinji and the others; I'm like those other hollows."

Shinji's eyes narrowed. "How did you work that out?" Of course it made no sense; they were made by hollows devouring the Espada's particles.

"I told you didn't I- my abilities resembled the Arrancar, but I didn't have hierro or anything like that," I smiled lightly- I felt rather at ease now I understood. "The hyougyoku on me just increased my powers that were already there, it didn't give me anything new- it didn't turn me into a hollow."

"And...?" Hiyori looked bored.

"And when Kurotsuchi got you back from Hueco Mundo, he accidentally mixed some other hollow up with you." Renji's eyes went wide at the realisation, though he looked pretty happy that he understood it so easily. "He's usually so careful with his work- perhaps he did it on purpose."

"No, I don't think so. Maybe he just didn't realise what was there... I was thinking for a long time how familiar my hollow side is to me. The reason it's not trying to do anything is because it's lazy."

"A lazy hollow." Shinji rolled his eyes.

"Starrk was quite lazy, he enjoyed napping," I shook my head. It made perfect sense! "He and I never spoke much, but we did.. race each other around Hueco Mundo when he needed to stretch his legs. We'd wager on it, turn it into a game so he could enjoy it a little," I nodded to myself, now talking to myself more than the others. "Perhaps while I was... dead, when Kurotsuchi was... 'collecting' me, Starrks particles- infused back with Lilinettes- got mixed with mine at the last moment and he didn't realise. Or maybe Starrk was just napping when it happened so he couldn't' sense him..."

Shinji didn't seem very happy at all, and Hiyori didn't seem to believe it. "In that case, I wonder if our training really would help... I suppose it's the same theory though, it's not going to hurt to try but... I think Abarai is going to have to go back to soul society and tell them this..."

Renji sighed, looking hesitant. "I think we should ask Urahara-san first," he murmured. "If I go back and say this... Kurotsuchi will use it as an excuse to experiment on her." I'd never heard his voice so hard before, and his expression was blank. "Saying something like, 'If we can find her weakness, we can find theirs and defeat them.'"

"So send her back then."

"Hiyori!" Shinji looked rather... angry with her. "How would you feel if we sent you to soul society so you could be experimented on, to see what makes you tick; to understand your weaknesses, pull you apart and put you back together again time after time."

I paled when I realised that was exactly what Kurotsuchi would do if he found out; and he would probably get permission to do it too. Shinji agreed to talk to Urahara first but, even so... I was starting to feel like I shouldn't have said anything about this.

Silently, I walked ahead of the group to where we'd be training. If I could control it, learn about it myself... perhaps that would be enough. So... I have one week to do that.

_No pressure then._


	11. Eleven: Fear

Chapter 11

I was absolutely positive that this was just a bad dream. The ones you got when you over thought everything, did nothing but think about one thing worrying you... the type that would start to manifest when you slept; giving you horrible nightmares you couldn't escape from.

I was positive because of the fact I had been sat in front of Shinji and Hachigen moments before the... dream had started. At least it seemed like moments. Time seemed nothing to me these past few days.

Wake up, train, eat lunch, train, train some more; eat dinner if I had the energy, train a bit more, shower and lastly sleep.

All that and for no progress. I knew the others were getting annoyed, and I also knew that the longer it went on, the sooner I would have to return. And no doubt _he_ knew about my recent revelation.

The revelation of how, I wasn't like Shinji, Ichigo and their friends; but I was instead more like our new enemies. Hanabi's... 'underlings' if you would. Instead of being a shinigami with a hollow part of me, I was a shinigami who's spiritual energy- reishi, had been mixed up with the reishi of a former Espada. Espada were a high ranking arrancar, which were the reverse version of Shinji. They were hollows with shinigami powers.

I was fortunate, in the fact the Espada who lived within my body, I was on pretty good terms with. It meant he was more likely to help me, or listen to me. I was unfortunate because he was lazy, and he didn't want to help.

Only a few times did he make his presence within my spirit known. Once when I was very angry, and once when I was almost dead. Of course he wanted to help when it could hurt me- it would hurt him too! And if something killed me, it would kill him too. And like any sane person, he didn't wish to die again- this would have been the third time or so.

Personally I wasn't looking forward to that possibility either.

But when I tried to compromise with him, or explain that if he didn't help from the start, it would be too late to save me when he joined in, he just simply ignored me. Honestly, he was beginning to do my head in.

It was **my** body, and I was the dominate mind within it- most of the time. If I had to share it with him, couldn't he just help for once? It would be like paying rent. I wouldn't even need his help after this, he could continue snoozing within my spirit, never having to lift another figure, or even listen to me yell at him again.

The latter he loathed.

Since Shinji had told me I would need to connect and speak with the 'hollow' part of me, I had worked on nothing but being able to contact him. It was much like speaking to your zanpakuto- which was essentially an extension of your spirit anyway. All that work for nothing. I could contact him, I could tap into his reishi supplies... but would he aid me? No.

Renji suggested we forget the hollow side, and just return back; though he knew as well as I did what awaited me there. If I couldn't get this to work with me, Mayuri was almost certain to take me apart, piece by piece, to find out what made me work.

To find a way to destroy me.

Would that be part of the whole thing? They feared me because of my past, so they wiped my memories. They feared me finding out, so they did everything to shelter me. When they made me remember, they were fearful for my reaction. And now a new fear. Fear of what they didn't understand- our enemies used the same power, and before I had been on their enemies side... they would be suspicious. They would fear I would join that side again. To stop that, would they kill me once my usefulness was over?

The dream in which I observed now, Mayuri sat in front of me; a gleeful look in his eyes. A smug smile on his grin, and every now and then his greedy beads of eyes would glance over my body, and he would lick his lips.

I tried to shudder every time the lecher looked at me like that, but my body would not move. I wasn't restrained, perhaps he'd drugged me up with a lot of morphine or anaesthesia. It was a dream, so I couldn't tell if I was in any pain or what.

It was more like I was observing anyway- more out of body, than actually myself.

I'd had this dream a lot; it was always the same setting, the same look within his eyes, and the same scream which would echo from my throat when he stood over me; blocking my view of what he did.

Of course, it was not actually I who screamed. Not personally.

After the screaming I would usually wake up and no one around me would think anything else. I hadn't been tossing or turning, moaning or groaning or even screaming within my sleep. According to Renji I was always out for the count and nothing from outside could wake me up.

So when Mayuri stood up and approached me, I knew it was almost time for my eyes to flutter open, and for the training to begin again. He held a scalpel in his left and, and his zanpakuto in his right.

He stood, blocking my view of my own body, and his arms disappeared in front of him.

Three things happened at once.

First, a sharp pain slashed across my stomach. Second, the me on the table he was 'working on' let out an ear splitting scream- louder than ever, and thirdly, the deafening scream escaped my lips too.

A hand clamped down on my shoulder- to drag me away I wonder? Perhaps they'd seen me, and I was not supposed to be observing. But when I glanced back, I was surprised to find Starrk standing there, a bored expression on his face; and Lilinette peering from around his leg. The last time I'd spoken to him, he was in his 'whole' form; seeing them separate surprised me.

Now this was a strange twist.

Starrk pulled me to my feet, looking rather put out. "Your stupid nightmares are disturbing my naps," he muttered. "Usually I can ignore them, but screaming like that for a little cut?" his eyes dropped to my stomach, and my hands followed his gaze.

I should be bleeding to death; the stab... the cut, I had felt it; how deep it had gone. Like it was more sawing me in half than making a cut within the skin. But besides a cut within my shihakusho, there was nothing there.

"I don't... understand."

Starrk looked put out again. "You constantly worry about this," he lazily motioned to Mayuri with one hand, then shoved both within his pockets. Lilinette giggled, smiling shyly up at me, but let him do all the talking. "The more you worry the worse they get; but what can you do? Face your fears I suppose."

I sniffed. "There's no way I can face this," I muttered, wincing at the sloshing sound coming from my... corpse on the table. I didn't wish to know what he was doing, but I was thankful I couldn't feel it. "As soon as I go back... because you won't help me."

"Because there's no point," he muttered. "You can use my strength to fight them, but your fear is their fear... if you fight them, using a... combined power of us, they'll just become more scared of you. This future is inevitable no matter if you have my help or not."

I supposed he was right.

"If I'm going to die anyway, I don't want this stupid guy experimenting on my spirit," he almost spat the words and it surprised me. Starrk wasn't hostile that often; not like this. Lilinette's glare towards Mayuri only seemed to increase his venom.

"So those are my choices?" I muttered, fake enthusiasm running with my words. "Die on the battlefield, or become a test subject and die after the battle?" My shoulders slumped. "They wouldn't... if I could... defeat Hanabi, or protect soul society. They would have no reason to fear me. Toshirou... Rangiku... Rukia, Byakuya and Renji, none of them would allow that!"

Starrk chuckled, almost mocking me. "I think you're confusing shinigami with honourable people."

"Some of them are decent people!"

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Shiori," his tone was warning. "Your zanpakuto is interesting, having to share minds with it, we've conversed." It did surprise me, I never heard any banter between the two of them. "It's power is... interesting. Warm. I thought for a long time it's ability was to make others relax and be warm around you; in that case, wouldn't they not fear you?"

Starrk had never talked so much in his life, I could hear his patience wearing thin. I knew my zanpakuto was a lot like him; lazy. I also know he was warm, very warm; not in an affectionate way, just... warm. Even when he said harsh things, it was hard not to accept them with a smile on your face. I'd always thought his ability was to create warmth, and acceptance for me.

"Your ability is useless," he grumbled. "Though fitting for someone like you. It's not entirely unrelated to what you could do as a human," he added. I stared at him curiously, wincing at the sound of a wheezing drill. "You could read peoples minds... you could see their truths, understand everything that way... your zanpakuto gives you the ability to see the good within others. And you do it without realising."

"What has this got to do with them fearing me, Starrk?"

"If you didn't work so hard on seeing the good, the warmth within people, you'd have defected from soul society long ago."

"No I wouldn't," I replied without a moments hesitation. "I have friends there! I hate the fighting, and if I had a choice I'd much rather just be an ordinary spirit, but since I can't... isn't it best if I can help people?"

"Help people who will sooner see you dead than protect you?"

"I care about them, and they care about me... Rangiku and Renji... they're the best friends I've ever had! Rangiku is hurt because of me, she could die!"

"And you're absolutely sure they won't just hand you over?" he cocked an eyebrow, and shrugged when I nodded at him. "All right, since you're too stubborn. Guess you have to learn the hard way."

I opened my mouth to ask him, but he was gone, Lilinette too, before I could even exhale. "Just what...?"

I frowned and turned around, hearing all the sounds finished; but gasped and stepped back in surprise when I found Mayuri's face inches from my own. The greedy look was in his eyes again, and he reached a bloody hand over and grabbed my arm; tugging me closer.

I screamed again, and this time it woke me up.

The building was still with night, and I sat on my bed, panting. Hiyori slept across from me on her stomach, snoring loudly. Renji also slept in this room, sleeping much like her.

I traced the outlines of his form, watched his chest as it rose and fell with his breaths and thought. I was certain Rangiku and Renji... Toshirou too perhaps, would stand up for me if soul society wished me dead. They would warn me... protect me and smuggle me out.

But wouldn't that just get them into trouble?

The truthfulness of Starrk's words sat with me as I thought them over. If I gained strength to protect myself, Soul society would destroy me anyway. If I had no added strength to my current abilities, the new hollows would destroy me anyway. The latter had the upside of not becoming a test subject, and rather dying of my own... 'free will' on the battlefield. More of a noble sacrifice than a degrading one chosen for me.

So I did not want those three to get into trouble. Even if they could repeal for me, they could do nothing to aid me. They would be overruled, and anything they did to help would be forbidden.

So I was alone.

It was not the first time I had felt alone, although then I always had Ulquiorra's calming presence to help me think and calm down. I'd much rather share my body with him, perhaps he could help me come to a rational choice over this.

There was a third option.

Escape.

Not abandoning them, just escaping. Training on my own and helping them when the battle came. I would be strong enough to help, and with Starrk added to myself, maybe fast enough to outrun Soifon and the rest of her team. I only had a few days left. They would see it as defection, but...

My eyes again glanced over to the sleeping read head, and silently I crept over to his side. So many regrets. If things had stayed normally, perhaps there would have been a chance I could confess to him.

The next time we met, he would probably believe me to have abandoned them. His orders would be to bring me back.

Would I be able to resist him?

I was unable to help my fingers tracing the outline of his shoulder blade. He shuddered at my cold hands, but didn't stir. "Renji..."

I chuckled softly, and lent down to place a small kiss on his forehead. He still didn't stir, and I slowly backed out of the room.

This would be the second time I would leave him out of fear. The first time, scared of him and I'd made an uninformed choice. This time, scared _for_ him. I was certain of the choice, I knew the consequences.

I could never go back to soul society. Maybe after a few years, Urahara and Yoruichi would allow me to stay with them, or near them. For now I was alone, perhaps it was better like that. Less people to get killed.


	12. Twelve: Kiss

Please Stop Time

You know those dreams you have where you hope for anything they're real? The ones you would do anything to not wake up from them?

Really I'd never had one before, but this... this was definitely one. It seemed such a silly, simple thing too- almost cheesy and romantic. Not like me at all, but... I wanted this. I doubt I would ever be able to have it, but I wanted it.

Shiori was sat across from me, one leg stretched out on the grass, and her other bent and tucked under her chin. One arm rested on her leg, her hand resting on the grass, absently feeling the blades of green. Her other rested on her bent knee and her hand rested on the side of her neck. There was a peaceful look on her face, eyes closed, wind playing with her loose hair.

Her soft, pink lips parted softly and she let out a contented sigh. She'd always been pretty to me- the way her nose wasn't completely straight, the way her lips seemed too large for her small face, and the way she would squint or stick her tongue out when she concentrated too hard. The way her cheeks would light up a brilliant red whenever she was shy or embarrassed, and the way she would cover her mouth when she laughed or smiled. She had the faintest trace of freckles on her nose and cheeks when the sun was out. I loved everything about her.

But right now she wasn't just pretty- she was... beautiful. I couldn't ever remember seeing her like this before- maybe I was blind. Or maybe it was because she seemed happy and at peace. I had never seen her look so... calm before. This was probably what she longed for- this peace.

Shiori hated violence, but despite that I never said anything when it was insisted she become a shinigami. I knew she would hate it, and I knew she would despise every moment of it; but I never said anything.

I had tortured her, and now because I hadn't done anything, we faced this situation. Her memories were back, and she barely spoke to me because of it. She could remember every ounce of pain she'd ever been put through when fighting, every ounce of pain from how much it hurt her inside.

Shiori was, after all, the type who'd let her opponent live- even if they were the type who'd kill her as soon as she hesitated. What on Earth had they been thinking? What had **I** been thinking?

On top of that, she was under stress to learn... what she was. Now because she was some kind of crazy hybrid, she was terrified to go back 'home' where Kurotsuchi would likely wish to experiment. The superiors would allow it- and any form of outcry would be ignored.

She knew that as well as I did, that's why she pushed herself as much as she could.

"Shiori, I-"

"The breeze is nice," she said, pausing for a few moments as the wind picked up her hair again, before she turned a little to face me.

The way she stared at me. I felt my face heat up- her stare wasn't intense, and it wasn't full of love but... it was soft and instead of staring at me, it was more as if she was staring... into me. Like she knew everything I was thinking and feeling...

Her voice- oh her voice. Her soft voice, how I remembered first hearing it. Soft and gentle, sparkled with innocence and kindness. Softly spoken, quiet in tone... easy on the ears. Almost as if hearing my evaluation, she chuckled and it was like soft wind chimes.

"I-"

"Stop blaming yourself," she said, a frown marring her face for a few moments before she changed her position. She stretched both legs out in front of her, and moved her hands so they rested behind her; supporting her up as she moved to stare at the sky.

I stared at her curiously, before following her gaze. The sky was a soft pink at the bottom, changing shades in between to a darker pink and eventually into a light purple. Stars were spotted within the sky and a few wispy clouds were littered here or there. The moon was full and quite large, and the sun was setting slowly.

I couldn't, for the life of me, remember how I 'd got here or what I'd been doing before; but it was a place, and time I didn't want to leave. I knew it was a dream, and I knew I was going to have to leave but... at least for a while longer I wanted to exist here.

_Feh, since when have you been so sentimental and romantic? You're getting soft, if Rangiku could see you now... she'd never let you live it down._

"I suppose she wouldn't," Shiori said again, before laughing softly again.

"You-?"

She was mind reading again, or had I said it out loud? Had she heard my thoughts about her too? My cheeks turned a deeper red, and I cleared my throat.

"I mean it," she said again, forcefully this time. "Stop blaming yourself. You think anyone would have listened to you if you'd stood against the idea of me becoming a shinigami?" Her lips twitched at the corners, but she didn't smile this time.

The pink in the sky had disappeared, and it was painted with a deep purple. The breeze was no longer warm and inviting, but it was cold and ruthless. Most importantly, Shiori's face wasn't the peaceful, happy picture it had been before.

She looked terrified.

"Shiori?"

"As soon as I go back- you know what's going to happen to me. Control or not."

"I won't let-"

"You have to though!" She cried, flying to her feet. Her voice and eyes were laced with the desperation her words implied. She was pleading with me, begging almost. "If you don't let them... you could get locked up or killed yourself. You'd be branded a traitor!"

"You think living with guilt is all that better?" I said, eyes furrowing in concentration. How had it turned into this? That peaceful scene into...

"That's just your problem-" she paused to take a deep breath. "You want everything to be peaceful and perfect. Renji, what if I was supposed to die that time back in Las Noches? I've died twice, I don't want to die a third time- especially not if people are going to try and bring me back again.

"I'm too tired for that. I just want a peaceful life, or no life at all. I hate being a shinigami, I don't even like killing Hollows," she said, her voice was softer now. "I know they were your enemies- but the Espada, not all of them were that bad. They were just misguided, yet they died too."

I almost couldn't believe she was saying this- I wanted to protest, but the words were stuck in my throat. I felt empty. I could hear her pain, and it was etched onto her face clearly, but I could do nothing to ease it or stop it.

"Now because of... this, because of what I am... I have to fight those other..." she trailed off, not entirely sure what to call them. "My former companions are a part of them- I can't fight Ulquiorra, even if he isn't Ulquiorra any more. I enjoyed his company because he was always peaceful...

"Even if the shinigami win, I won't be able to find peace. You know this as well as I do." Her eyes closed painfully, and her fists clenched at her sides. "As soon as it's over, they'll had me to Kurotsuchi. Renji, he scares me more than Aizen ever did." Her breath hitched in her throat, and all I could do was watched as she collapsed to her knees, hands covering her face as she sobbed softly.

I had never seen anyone so scared. "Let me help you-"

"You don't understand!" She said again. "Even if I'm fast enough to out run Soifon- are you? If they capture either one of us... we can't just flee, we'd be branded traitors! At least if it's me alone, I could survive."

"Give me credit, I'm not all that slow-"

"But could you out run Soifon?"

She had me there. "You don't seem to understand," I said. "I'm too selfish to watch as you escape and leave me. I'm no romantic, I'm probably not even sentimental. I don't like to admit how I feel either, but, I lost you... too many times before and I regretted it all the time."

Her mouth opened to reply, but she closed it and turned around. She'd already walked a good distance ahead before I realised she was even moving. I urged my feet and legs to follow her, but no matter the pleading, I didn't move.

Shiori paused in her footsteps and glanced back at me over her shoulder. "Yet you don't follow me. What are you so scared of? You say all this- but you don't back it up. You don't want me to go, but you won't follow me. You expect me to stay... and I can't."

I had no idea how long I had been awake, but her voice had barely faded when I realised I was staring at the ceiling. Had it been a dream? It had felt so real. Was Shiori really that terrified?

"What have I done?"

I sighed softly and rubbed my eyes, slowly sitting up. There had to be a way to make it up to her, if she would at least forgive me... I could be happy. I stared at her bed across from me, my stomach slowly tightening.

She was gone. And she hadn't told me. Was she scared of me trying to make her stay? Did she really think that?

I jumped to my feet- her reishi was still 'fresh', and almost as though a sign- the front door closed softly. "Shiori..."

It had to be her, it had to be. Even if it wasn't, I was going to find her- at the least I wanted her to know that I was sorry and I wanted to know that she was safe.

So, I ran. Shiori was fast and she'd be able to out run me as soon as she knew I was following her, but I had to try!

Then suddenly, I found her. She was stood absently in the middle of a road, staring at the full moon with a strange expression on her face. She was some mix of scared, annoyed, angry and upset. I just wanted her to smile again- why couldn't she do that for me?

"Renji... why did you follow me?"

"I'm coming with you."

She blinked a few times, and turned to look at me. The surprise in her eyes was evident, and she stayed silent for the longest of times. There was no breeze in the air, and her hand slowly raised to brush some of her hair behind her ear.

I thought she would protest at first but...

"Are you sure? Soul society are going to say I'm a traitor, you'd be included with that."

"I don't care," I said. "Shiori, I've done nothing but hurt you and now you're in this position... You're terrified because I was too scared to do the right thing."

Her lips pushed together in a firm line, and there was an evident crease in between her eyes. She was thinking too hard, like always.

"That's the only reason why you want to come? Because you feel guilty?"

"No-" perhaps I'd blurted it out too quickly, but it got her attention. "Shiori, I..." yet I couldn't say it. Three words, ones I had to say but I couldn't. What was I so scared of? Surely saying those words... I couldn't be as scared of saying them as she was of everything else.

"You?"

Then again I've never been much for words, I'm more of an 'actions speak louder' type of people. So the only logical reason I have to tell her- is to kiss her. I've kissed girls before, but this all seems surprisingly different.

To begin with, she tensed up and I wondered if she was going to slap me or push me away. I couldn't be positive if she wanted this- perhaps I'd misread everything, and she didn't like me back. Perhaps that dream was a figment of my imagination and hope, rather than my subconscious telling me the truth.

_Renji, stop thinking so much._

It was a bad habit.

Slowly though, she kissed me back. Her arms stretched and wrapped around my neck, and she held herself as close to me as she could. I was surprised by the sudden closeness, but wrapped my arms around her waist- pulling her closer still.

It all seemed rather cliché really. Kissing in the moonlight to stop her from going, to prove to her that I wanted to go with her for more than just guilt. Sentimental mumbo jumbo- didn't women like that stuff though? It seemed to be working...

"Renji."

I wasn't even aware that we'd broken apart. I must have seemed awful to her- dazing in the middle of a kiss...

"You always over think everything, far too much." Her voice was sprinkled with that angelic laugh- even though her face showed no signs of the peace that I wished there. "Are you sure though? There's no going back-"

"Shiori, of course I'm sure." I could go with her- what did I have to be scared of? Rukia was pining after Ichigo, it was obvious she'd never thought of me much more than a brother... Byakuya would find another vice-captain, and Rangiku had lots of other friends to go drinking with... assuming she woke up. I didn't think she'd hold this over me anyway.

"Soul soc-"

"Shiori!"

"Sorry," she said, smiling apologetically. A smile and a laugh- she still looked small and terrified... but she seemed... a little happier at least. "We should get going though, before anyone else notices we're gone."

I wasn't sure what she had planned- did she plan to fight and then escape? Did she plan to keep going and not look back? She hated fighting but I couldn't see her abandoning everyone- even if she hated soul society, she wasn't the type of person who would let anyone die. I would protect her though; if she could face her fears, so could I. I wouldn't let her be hurt ever again.


	13. Thirteen: Realisation

It's been forever since I updated! I'm so sorry, but things have been hectic and I haven't found the motivation or time to write, or even think about writing. But, I finally got some today so I decided to take a break from studying to write! Thank you for being so patient! I hope you enjoy the rest of Shiori's story!

Realisations

The plan wasn't foolproof. There were billions, and billions of risks and potential outcomes. We could get away- that was the best outcome, we could be caught... not preferable really- we could also die. That was potentially the worst outcome, next to being caught and interrogation and torture and-

So maybe I needed to learn not to let my imagination get away with me, but we couldn't be too careful. We had to think for every single outcome possible, and for every single trick... but we were fighting blind. How were we supposed to know what the enemy, or the shinigami planned? If we tried to find out either... we would most definitely be caught- and right now... we had to stay hidden.

It wasn't easy, training while having to hide my reiatsu, but we somehow managed it. Starrk was very... compliant now, and Renji always trained somewhere else to disperse the energy... a larger concentration would attract more attention than two smaller ones that could disappear easier.

To be honest, I only spent one day training. I found that what Starrk explained, I already knew. It was more a case of him having to remind me- it was a strange thing... having two minds in your own, and having to trust the others to keep you alive.

The next two days I spent planning, away from Renji, since I knew he wouldn't agree with anything I thought of. His concern would be getting me out of there without being caught- my biggest concern was making sure that if we were caught, he would be proven innocent. That he hadn't been an accomplice, just more of... manipulated by me.

There were a few ways I could do it- turn on him in the end, but I wasn't sure if I COULD do that. Or, I could fake who I was... pretend that I had used him, and even have him be surprised at it... he'd still be punished, but it wouldn't be severe if it was like that.

Renji would 100% not agree with that plan, because it would make things harder on me. Really... the more I thought about it, the more I didn't mind the idea of death. I didn't want to be without him, that was for sure, but... it was a strangely peaceful ideal.

If I stayed alive, I would always have to share my body with Starrk, and even if Soul society on some tiny whim let me live there, there would always be stares, and whispers... people who would never fully trust me. How could anyone live like that? How could I?

Even if I would have Renji with me then, it wouldn't matter if- well... one person who makes you happy can't always make you ignore people who try and tear you down.

Really I saw no way out of this- so we went on the run after? I didn't want that for him, and it would still not solve the issue of having to share my body with another spirit. Starrk did mostly agree, he didn't want to share my body... and while we both tried not to be intrusive to the other persons thoughts and feelings... it got harder the more intense they were.

My constant worrying drove him insane, and the constant flutter in my chest when Renji came back- well, he hated that more. His annoyance became intense, that I would become annoyed... so, Renji and I argued a lot. We made up- we both apologised, he understood it wasn't my fault and that really he'd done nothing wrong... it was just something I was going to have to live with.

If we argued every day for the rest of forever... that wasn't going to be much to build a relationship upon. Starrk, however, was as clueless as I was about removing him from my body. He could only think of three people who would be able to help- Kurotsuchi... that bastard was not an option. Urahara- well... I didn't fully trust him, and the others always stayed with him... he would never help me do this and escape. Not when he was trying so hard to get back into Soul Society's good books.

The last option was Aizen. I'd sooner stick my eyes with a hot poker than ask that man for help... but he was the best choice of the three. Starrk, even though he didn't fully trust him any more, was still loyal to him to some extent. And myself- well... I didn't really know what to think. I hated him, and how could we trust him to actually help us?

And then there was the issue that he was locked away in Soul society. Protection would surely be low around him while all the fighting was going on- the shinigami wouldn't leave soul society completely undefended, but from what Renji had found out, most of the skilled fighters would be on the battlefield.

So I would have to be quick, but I would be able to get in to talk to him- and quickness was my speciality these days. I also had one other stop to make before I joined the fight, but it would be a lot harder. Unohana was no fighter, and so the fourth squad captain would be staying behind at their barracks to tend to the injured. Stopping in on Rangiku would possibly be a lot harder- but as long as I could maintain my shunpo without elevating my reishi, it should be fine. They'd be too occupied with their injured by that that point that Rangiku should have been unprotected.

Then after that I would join the fight- helping the Shinigami. And at the end... who knew? Would we win? And if we did... then what? Depending on Aizen's answer...

However, the general idea seemed to be that it would be better to 'turn' on Renji and save him than it was for both of us to escape. Honestly- this whole thing... I'd run away to avoid death, because it was the only way Starrk would agree to work with me so I could get the strength to actually help... and then it turns out that we're just going to die willingly anyway. All we'd really successfully done is screwed Renji over... He was going to be in pain no matter what happened.

"What is wrong with me? Hurting people I love-"

"Shiori?" Renji's voice made me jump, but he was suddenly in front of me... His eyes as he stared at me were warm, like always. His presence calmed me, but perhaps that was more dangerous than anything. It relaxed me, I was less alert. "We have to go... the fight is already starting. Shinji and the others all just left."

"Isn't it a bit soon...?" I bit my lip. We were tired, not fully rested and fed.

"I thought so too, but I don't think it's just a rouse.. even Yoruichi's reishi disappeared too..." he frowned. "I can open the gate, but we need to be careful- they will know we're in soul society the moment we cross."

"Hey, you're the slow one here." I tried to joke to diffuse the tension, but it did little. He smiled a little, but it didn't reach his eyes... and no laughter came from my throat. The whole of the situation was stacked against us- I barely had any time with him too.

So many regrets... I guess it was stupid to regret them now since nothing could be done, but... If I was completely honest, I would have gone back and stopped them from 'giving me life'. It would have been less pain all around, for everyone... and maybe even this wouldn't have happened.

But, if it had happened anyhow... and I wasn't around to do anything. Wasn't that conceited to think? Soul Society had Ichigo, there would surely be a way to bring his powers back... and he probably could have saved them. The only way to fight these monsters was to use monsters... I wasn't the only monster who existed- it was just... I was the only one that existed who understood how they... worked.

Of course there was a chance Urahara and Kurotsuchi had already figured it out and had some plan or device to beat them, or at least gain the upper hand. I doubted it though. It wasn't until recently I had figured out how to fight them... the answer was simple.

If they shared subconscious of another arrancar, we would have to turn it against them. Ulquiorra would be easy... Nnoitra was also another easy one- he wouldn't want to be controlled, but the others were the problem. Halibel wouldn't mind being 'used' if it got revenge on Aizen- though after that was extracted she'd most definitely turn against her 'new master', but we didn't have he luxury of that... my future- or lack of thereof, could depend on Aizen's survival. Strange... the man I wanted to kill in the past, which had pretty much led to this, I now had to bet 'everything' on him... I bet he would enjoy that- the sadist bas-

"Shiori!"

Of course, I was spacing out again. Surely it would worry him if I kept doing that- how could he concentrate on himself if he was too worried about my sudden change. I hadn't told him any part of my plan- this was going to be the first he heard of it... I already knew his reaction.

"First we need to see Aizen." I spat the name out, and grimaced at the idea. "I need to know if he has any idea on how to split Starrk and me... so we can be two separate people."

"The shinigami would have already asked him," he murmured. "They would want to know so they can turn it against whoever it is we're fighting."

"That doesn't mean he told them the truth," I frowned. "I mean... no matter what he says... they won't release him so really he has nothing to gain by telling them."

"Shiori..." his tone was reproaching... I had to avoid his eyes- I couldn't bare to see the disappointment and disbelief in them that I could feel upon my person. "You aren't thinking about letting him out if he splits you up are you...? It's not worth it... we can find out how to do it on our own."

And then, it suddenly dawned on me. It all suddenly made sense. They were not our enemies- they just wanted the same thing that I did- and the way to get it was Aizen, he was surely the only one left who had any clue of how to separate them. After all... I loved Nel, but even I wouldn't be able to share a body with her. They probably hated it as much as I did-

But what about Hanabi?

I thought long and hard about her. I tried to come up with ideas, and suggestions as to why she'd suddenly turned against everyone... Was she being controlled? I didn't think so, besides, who had that power? Only Aizen's zanpakuto could ideally do anything similar and Kyoukasuigetsu was even more locked up than Aizen himself.

Maybe she was helping the underdogs. She was an outcast herself right? And her brother had been shunned from soul society- so many she was trying to help someone when she'd been unable to help others before. But surely she'd just... talk to someone first.

The last option was that she had her own agenda, different from the others and they had no clue. Perhaps she'd lied to them- told them she'd tried speaking to soul society but they'd turned her away so the only option was to resort to the violence. If so- then the idea was to turn them against her, not each other. But how?

The idea made more sense. They'd only ever brought attention to their selves, but they'd never actually killed anyone. They'd severely hurt Rangiku, but I had no doubt that it would be within an inch of their powers to kill her if they'd wanted to.

"Renji, I-"

"No, Shiori... if we free him-"

"No- Renji, listen!" I had to grab the back of his shihakusho to make him listen. "Don't you see? Hanabi is using them the same way Aizen used the Arrancar, they're her pawns... she told them one thing, but..." I sighed. "I don't know what she wants, but... if they're like me... then all they want is to be their own self again..."

"So their goal would be Aizen..."

"Yes, I really don't think they mean any harm- I think they just trust Hanabi and she led them wrong. It's exactly the same as- I mean... you didn't like them, but the arrancar weren't all bad. They were just misunderstood and... led by the wrong people. Nel for instance is a good example... Ulquiorra too... he was just doing what he believed to be best- what Aizen had put into him."

"Shiori..." He sounded frustrated for sure. "Why do you always try to see the good in people? Not everyone has a good part to them, some people are just rotten to the core. You can't try and excuse someone's actions-"

"I'm not trying to, but... apart from Rangiku, Renji, what have they actually done but tried to get attention?" even he was silent to that. "And you know as well as I did, if they wanted to... they could have killed Rangiku. She wasn't a warning, she was a cry for help!"

"Shiori..."

He didn't believe me. Of course he wouldn't... he just saw them as monster's... heartless things, arrancar fused together to create something of pure hatred.

"Shiori, some people have darkness within them, and they can't do anything to run away from it- even if they try... even if their intentions are good and we split them up... what then? There's just double the amount of hollows with insane powers that we barely destroyed last time."

So that was what it came down to? "Renji... listen to me. Sure... Nnoitra... Grimmjow, they're not good people... but believe me when I say they won't do anything- they were just doing what they were told because they were scared for their lives, and they just wanted somewhere to belong.

"Doesn't everyone just want somewhere to belong at the end of the day?"

"You're going to get yourself killed if you try and find a good intention, or a good reason for people doing bad things," he muttered.

It was hard not to take it personally- I know he didn't mean me, but... "Didn't I join Aizen's side? Am I not like them in some ways?" I absently pulled at a thread on my sleeve and walked to his side. Just for once... just for once, people needed to believe me and trust me. "Am I not a bad person too?"

"N-no, of course not, you-"

"I just had a good reason, right?" It was hard to sound convincing even to myself. "Renji, do you ever wonder why this stuff seems to happen to me? Maybe I am a bad person too, soul society are quick to condemn me- why do you always try and find the good in me? Because you care about me? Or is it because you took the time to understand me?"

"We've tried to understand hollo-"

"Don't see them as hollows, Renji!" I even surprised myself yelling at him. "They're partly hollows... but they have feelings, and independent thoughts and ideals of what is right and what is wrong... they're incredibly smart people, and even Nel must have proven it to you... some of them have a conscious. Have you ever thought that if we'd never met, you would always see me as a hollow like them? In another day and time, perhaps we could have all been on the same side."

But we were running out of time- we didn't have seconds to spare that we could argue like this.

"Renji, just... when we get to soul society, go to Aizen and make sure he's well protected."

"Where are you going to go?"

"I'm going to see Rangiku, then I'm going to try and understand what Hanabi is up to..." I sighed. "You're right, I always do see the good in people, because that's what people deserve. I tried to understand Hanabi as if she had a good heart, but the more I think I understand her reasons... the more it doesn't seem like that. I don't think everyone has a good part to them- Aizen for example... while misunderstood in his own way... what good was there to him? He and Hanabi are alike... they're people who just... want to see the world burn."

"Shiori-"

It hurt me to admit it. I liked Hanabi- a lot... I didn't want to admit that she was a problem, that she would likely have to die for this whole thing to be settled. To be honest- I still wanted to find a good reason for the whole thing so she wouldn't... but it became more, and more obvious that it wouldn't be the case.

The hollows who ate the arrancar wouldn't have existed much longer than I did... to turn them so quick, she'd had to have gotten to them instantly. But how had she known they would even exist? Unless she'd been the one who'd made them... making friends with stray hollows... suggesting to them if they ate that reishi...

Just how long had she been planning it? No matter how you looked at it... she'd been one step ahead of Aizen the entire time. But what was her final goal? Revenge for a broken heart? I know they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but, this was ridiculous. Did she just want to cause chaos? If that was it... then why would she plan so long, and so hard.

It had something to do with that man though, I was almost positive. _I just hope we're not too late to do something about it..._


	14. A brief explanation as to being MIA

Well, it certainly has been a long time hasn't it?

Let me start off by wishing everyone an extremely happy new years. I know it's a bit late, but I regret not being able to greet everyone then. I turned 21 in March, and a few weeks ago I graduated from college. I start University this September—I really am excited, and really proud of myself. I am at a point in my life where I feel content, if not lonely, but I feel inspired, free and wanting to share it.

My issue, however, is last September, my desktop with all of my story plans died on me. It's still at the hospital, and they can get the files off for me—but it probably won't be until next month. Which leaves me in the situation of 'I can't update, I have no idea where I was going'. I'm not ready to say goodbye to Shiori yet, either. Even though I have neglected her for a long time, she's the first character I've really connected with, and because of that I feel like I have a lot more of her story to tell you.

So I am going to tell you her story still. I haven't decided if I will do a rewrite of decode, write a sequal to this without giving any spoilers of what happens, despite the idea of her alleigence, or if I just want to write something unrelated to either. Maybe a bit of each of them.

In addition, my current on-going stories will probably… stay dead. But, I actually started work on writing a Boys Before Flower's series because I was so unsatisfied with JiHoo's ending.

So if you haven't completely forgotten me, allow me to plead your indulgence as I break out my keyboard and word processor again and tell you more about Shiori.


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